50th College Reunion: Tuesday's Reflection

How is it possible that I graduated from college almost 50 years ago? 

The invitation to be on a planning committee for the St. Olaf College 50th reunion in the spring of 1970 was a reality check. 

I've never avoided my age. The milestone birthdays have never been difficult for me, but somehow the unmistakeable fact that nearly 50 years has passed since I was an undergraduate student gives me pause. Am I ready for this rite of passage? 

My graduation day, standing outside my
senior dorm with my sister Amy.

Bruce and I both agreed to participate in the reunion planning and attended our first committee meetings on campus last week. We wondered if we would know anyone or let's be honest, would we RECOGNIZE  anyone? And let's be even more brutally honest, would anyone know and recognize us? 

The truth is we all look old, although some have weathered the years better than others! We strained to see each other's name tags,  looking carefully to recall the person who may have lived down the hall from us or was in one of our classes. We shared stories and memories and gave brief work and family histories of the last 50 years. 

We started the process of reconnecting or even connecting for the first time.

How appropriate that the theme we selected last week for our upcoming reunion is 

                      Remember...Reflect...Renew

One aspect of reunions is the opportunity to share memories. To remember. Some stories are funny now, but weren't so amusing then. Some stories remind us of our vulnerabilities as we learned how to cope with less than stellar grades and how to find and know our place in the world. Some stories remind us of how chaotic the world was, thanks primarily to the Vietnam War, as the new decade began.  

Fifty-six of our classmates have died in the intervening years, and part of the reunion weekend will be a service of remembrance. That's right and good to do, but perhaps we need a service of remembrance for the young people we were in 1970. What parts of ourselves have we lost or set aside? Who is that young person we need to remember?

One of the tasks of these older years is to reflect on both the gifts and the burdens in the lives we have lived. What have we carried with us from our college years that has served us well? How did the experiences from those years lead us towards becoming the persons we were created to be? What have we learned over the years and how did our college years provide the grounding for that learning?

It is good to remember, unless one becomes stuck in nostalgia. The good old days. Trust me, not all my days at St Olaf were good ones. Just the memory of walking into the cafeteria by myself and wondering if I would find someone I knew to sit with makes me quake inside, and there are many others I prefer to keep in the past. But even the good ones, and I have many of those, too, are to be treasured, rather than idolized. 

And it is good to reflect, especially if reflection is accompanied by gratitude, rather than mired in regret.

The key to a reunion, it seems to me, is renewal. Not just a renewal of connections that may have been set aside over the years, but a renewed commitment to live meaningful, purposeful years, no matter the number of years we are blessed to have. In recognizing the gifts and the burdens of our college years, we can renew our love of learning and discovery. We can renew our belief in the importance of community and a trust that the future of this country will be in good hands, especially if we support the work of a college like St. Olaf. 

How good it was to be on campus--to see and feel its energy and engagement with body, mind, and spirit. 

One more note: As Bruce and I approach that 50th reunion, our granddaughter, who is a junior in high school, is beginning to look at colleges. Howis that possible?

An Invitation

What are your feelings about reunions? I would love to know.