Opportunities to Light Up Your Life: Bonus Post

For those of you who live in the Minneapolis-St Paul area, here are some opportunities that might interest you. 

1.  "Writing: An Exercise in Compassion," Wisdom Ways, Center for Spirituality, St Paul, MN, Thursday, February 20. Facilitators Elizabeth Jarrett Andrew, Dr. Tamara Gray, Swati Avashti, and Deborah Keenan will offer conversation about how the writing practice invites us into ever-deepening compassion. $25.00 Register here.  

2.  "Prayer and Being the Beloved" Retreat at ARC Retreat Community, Stanchfield, MN, March 10-11. This retreat has been organized by a women's book group called "Listening Hearts" and will include a mix of programs/structured time, solitude and silence, as well as time to enjoy the outdoors. The retreat begins at 12:30 pm on the 10th and will end at 11:30 am on the 11th. The cost is $115 for overnight accommodations and three meals. To register, call ARC, 763-689-3540 and mention Ruth's book group retreat. For more information contact Shirley at sm.maier@hotmail.com. You can learn more about ARC here, ARC.

3.  "Language of the Heart--An Interfaith Workshop," Saturday, March 21, Gloria Dei Lutheran Church, 700 Snelling Avenue, St Paul. The workshop will be led by Carol Manfred Sack, an ELCA missionary in Japan for 35 years, serving as a Certified Music Thanatologist who uses the harp and voice at the bedside of the dying. The workshop will include a Taize experience, personal journaling and discussion, the Japanese Tea Ceremony, and stories shared by Japanese guests. The workshop is free with a freewill offering. For more information contact, Karen at karennelson42@aol.com or Pastor Kay at freewaykaylj@gmail.com or Pastor Lois at prlois@gloriadeistpaul.org. or  Registration is required. Register here.

4. "Writing for Your Life--Minnesota 2020, April 27-28, Colonial Church, Edina, MN. A conference for spiritual writers and readers featuring Barbara Brown Taylor. Early bird tuition through March 1. Learn more here.

A Mini-Retreat: Thursday's Reflection

I looked at my calendar. I looked at the weather.

Tuesday was THE day. 

I am preparing to revise the last section of my memoir, and the first step is to re-read the most recent version of those chapters. I wrote them well over a year ago, and I have only a vague recollection of what is in them. 

In addition, my sense is that these chapters in the memoir need the most revising for a variety of reasons--mainly because the material is not as much about the past, but is more about NOW. How do I find perspective on the present? 

I realized a day without interruptions and distractions like the refrigerator, emails, laundry and other home tasks would be a good thing. I love working in my garret, but sometimes a change of scene is a good thing.

Off I went to St Olaf College, my alma mater, in Northfield, MN, only 45 minutes away, an easy and pleasant drive. When Bruce and I were there a couple weeks ago for a 50th class reunion meeting and we were on a tour of some new buildings on campus, I noted a spot where I would love to spend the day working, and that's where I spread my writing materials yesterday.

Now here's the surprise for those of you who know me: I spent my retreat day at the Regent Hall for Natural Sciences! SCIENCE! 

A brief story. When I was a freshman at St Olaf, I took a biology class to fulfill my science requirement. One day during the laboratory time I was dissecting the fetal pig--or should I say, destroying the poor pig--and the professor, a grandfatherly looking man, moved station to station to see what we were doing. 
             He looked at my attempts and said, "Miss Jensen, What's your major?"
             I said, "English."
             He said, "Good."

The only reason I entered the science center once I was done with that class (I did pass, by the way.), was to walk through it to get out of the cold on my way to another building. How amazed I was to spend the day so close to the science disciplines. But look at the view, the setting! 







I spent the bulk of the day there, only leaving for a quick lunch in another building. I enjoyed the comings and goings of students, but no one bothered me, and I was able to focus on the task for the day.

By the time I left I felt refreshed and eager to begin reworking the structure for this part of the memoir, a task which only the day before had felt overwhelming and daunting, and I wondered if I even wanted to do it.

That's the gift of retreat. 

A time-out in order to...
             Refresh and Recharge
             Renew
             Release
             Reconnect with...

One doesn't need to have a project, in order to retreat. Perhaps you are feeling a bit stale or bored or out-of-sorts. Perhaps you recognize the rut you are in. 

You fill-in the blank. "I need to retreat in order to______________.

Then the next step is to consider possible retreat places. They need not be far or costly or need reservations. Is there some place you've wanted to explore or enjoy, but haven't done it yet? A museum or park or arboretum or yes, a college campus. 

Keep a list of possible retreat places, and then when the calendar, the weather, and most importantly, the need are in synch OR when the need outweighs the practical aspects, you will be ready to say, 
                   "Today is the day!"

An Invitation
Have you ever given yourself a retreat day? I would love to know. 

Re-Entry Ritual: Tuesday's Post

Last week I attended a retreat at Wisdom Ways, which is located
within walking distance from our house. Because it is so close I could return home each afternoon, and I wondered how that would be. Instead of one re-entry at the end of the four days, I needed to re-enter each day. That can be challenging after a day focused on reflection and contemplation.

I had asked Bruce if he would be willing to manage the evening meal. He graciously agreed, even though cooking is not his thing. He is great at the cleaning up, but normally

I plan the meals, do the grocery shopping, and cook. How grateful I was to be relieved of kitchen duty each afternoon.

I also realized I needed to maintain the quiet of the day. Before dinner I sat in the front room we call the snuggery and read, but also closed my eyes for a short nap. I allowed the thoughts of the day to find a place within. Then after light catch up conversation as we ate, I moved into the garden where the lavender is in full bloom.  

I recall so many pleasurable mornings during our Sweetwater Farm years walking the rows of lavender. The touch of my ankles lightly released the clean smell, and I pretended I was in Provence living the life of a French herbalist. I remember how soothing and meditative it was to strip the stems of excess leaves and wrap together bunches for drying. I kept some to add to bouquets of daisies and roses, also plentiful at the moment.

I know the best time to harvest lavender is in the early morning, but getting my gathering basket from the garage, I knew this was exactly the right task to carry me from one retreat day to the next. 

Sometimes we have the luxury of planning our transitions and responding to what we most need in the moment. More often than we realize we can stop and pause and feel the movement from one moment to another. 

I invite you to smell the lavender.

An Invitation
What helps you during a time of transition or re-entry? I would love to know. 

Wisdom, Part One: Tuesday's Reflection

One day last week I was in the presence of 2,623 years of wisdom, thanks to a retreat, "Growing Older with Grace, Spiritual Practices for the Second Half of Life," which I helped organize and facilitate. Wisdom overflowed the entire day, beginning with our opening exercise. 

Each participant was given a white gauze bag filled with glass pebbles--one for each year of his or her life. Some bags were heavier than others, since our oldest participant was in her mid80's and the youngest in her 40's. On a table in front of our retreat room I had placed a large empty glass bowl, and I asked each person to one by one empty their bag of shiny pebbles into the bowl and to share a piece of wisdom they had acquired during their lifetime. 

My pebbles were the first in the bowl, making an almost metallic sound as my 67 pebbles spilled into the glass bowl. I turned to the group and said, "One piece of wisdom I keep relearning is the awareness that when I give myself time to move into silence, to become still, I seem to have more time and am more open."

Little by little, person by person, the pile of pebbles grew into multicolored layers and the sound, as the mound grew, became richer and deeper, not unlike the kind of wisdom that comes with the added years. The room was hushed as we yearned to receive each offering of wisdom. Wisdom about learning to live alone following the death of a spouse. Wisdom about patience and about appreciating the small and ordinary pleasures of life. Wisdom about trust and forgiveness and letting go of regret. 

Before this opening exercise I had led the group in a meditation, in order for each of us to become centered and present to our time together. I said, "You are in a safe place. You are in a place where your wisdom is welcome. You are in a time of spiritual deepening. Today is for you. Breathe in and out, receiving and surrendering. And when you are ready, open your eyes, gaze in silence around the room and feel yourself in this sacred moment."

The entire day was a succession of sacred moments, for when wisdom is shared, when wisdom is received, the moment is sacred. The glass bowl of 2, 623 pebbles was a visual reminder of all we have learned on our spiritual journeys and how much we can benefit from the wisdom of others. I wish I had thought to add more pebbles to the bowl throughout the day as we shared insights and reflections and as we opened to the movement of God in our lives. If I had done that, the bowl would have been overflowing by the end of our time together. 

At the end of the day I invited each person to come to the front of the room again and share with the group a gratitude, a hope, a learning they had acquired during our time together and then to take pebbles from the bowl as a reminder and symbol of our day of wisdom. 

The bowl remained full even though pebbles had been removed. I think wisdom is like that--wisdom shared, wisdom received creates more wisdom, grows more wisdom.

An Invitation
I invite you to share a piece of wisdom that guides your daily life and leads you to greater awareness of the movement of Spirit in your life. What pebbles of wisdom do you have to offer? I would love to know. 

What Do You Think About the Word "Aging?" Tuesday's Reflection

The Beauty of Aging in Nature

I have been asked to plan with our church's seminary intern, a woman my age, a fall retreat for members who fall into the age category referred to as the Third Chapter of Life. This retreat is a follow-up to some previous programming on end-of-life planning and has been requested by many in the church. I am delighted to be part of this and feel certain we will have a positive response to the opportunity, IF we can come up with the right title.

At a recent planning meeting, Cate and I decided to call the retreat  "Aging as a Spiritual Practice." We will focus on opportunities for reflection and offer experiences with a variety of spiritual practices. However, when Cate announced the title to a Monday morning Bible Study group, which consists mainly of our target audience, we got a big thumbs down. The word "aging" is a "turn off" and they don't want to be in the "aging group." 

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, for being an elder in our youth culture is nothing to aspire to, but the reality is, my friends, the only way to prevent aging is to die. 

Isn't it time to stop blaming someone else, usually someone younger, for what seems to be the prevailing attitudes about being old, older, oldest as lesser than another age of our life? It is time for us, those in our 60's and above, to embrace the gifts and the blessings of this time without being unrealistic about the burdens. That's one reason why I refer so often in this blog to Joan Chittister's book, The Gift Of Years, Growing Older Gracefully. In each chapter, Chittister explores both the burden and the blessing of a specific topic such as "Possibility."
          A burden of these years is to assume that when the
          great change from being defined and delimited by
          the past--however good it may have been--is over, 
          that life is over.

          A blessing of these years is to realize early, that
          this stage of life is full of possibilities, full of the 
          desire to go on living, to seize the independence,
          to create new activities and networks of interesting
          new people.    p. 58. 

One can find shadow and light in everything, and aging is no exception, but being 30, 40, 50 or any age also has limiting challenges. Each age has its blessings, and each age its burdens. 

I'm sure you've heard and perhaps even used the phrase, "Aging is not for sissies," which seems to emphasize the physical challenges of this time and also the losses that mount up --all true--but it also creates a false view, I think, that we are somewhat better or stronger if we can rise above adversity. How about, instead, accepting the burden and the blessing that comes with whatever challenges appear along the way? What a legacy we can leave to younger generations, if we could stop begging to be seen as still young and vital and instead embrace all the ways we can live our wisdom.

Instead of playing the new game of "70 is the new 50," or is it "50 is the new 70" (neither of which makes any sense to me!), why not 70 is the new 70? In my case, 67 is the new 67. It is more important in my view to know how I feel about who I am right now and how I can live fully right now. What do I think are the blessings and the burdens in my life at the present moment and how do I intend to respond to them?

Kathleen Dowling Singh in her book with another title I love, The Grace in Aging, Awaken As You Grow Older offers a questionnaire on aging--an excellent way to reflect on how you feel about being in the category of aging. Here are some sample questions.
* How do you feel about aging?
* How has your appearance changed? How do you feel about it?
* How has your position in the world changed? How do you feel about it?
* How has your reception in the world changed? How do you feel about it?
* What are your fears about your own experience of aging--to date and in the future? 
* What views about aging and the elderly--both positive and negative--have you absorbed from your cultural and family background, and how do you feel these may be unconsciously influencing your current thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and attitudes? 
* In what aspects of living have you most directed your attention and energy to date? What has been nurturing, fulfilling, supportive? What has been stressful for you?
* How do you intend to direct your energy and attention in the years remaining to you?
* What are your thoughts about spiritual maturity? What is your commitment to your own spiritual maturity? What steps have you taken? What steps do you intend to take? What keeps you from taking them now?

Singh urges us to become elders, more than elderly, and she says the way to do that is to cultivate spiritual practices, which, in turn, awakens us to our own being. With that in mind what do you think about this as a potential title for the retreat? "Inspiration for the Third Chapter of Life, Spiritual Practice and Sacred Time"

An Invitation
I invite you to reflect on the questions above and to use them as a guide in living intentionally as an elder. I would love to know what you learn. 

Resources
Joan Chittister http://joanchittister.org
Kathleen Dowling Singh  http://www.kathleendowlingsingh.com      
A blog I enjoy reading: http://www.timegoesby.net/weblog/ Note yesterday's post about the language of yesterday. 

Thursday's Post: Returning Home

Ready to Head Home

After two weeks of fun and easy time in Florida warmth and sunshine, we have returned home. One of the purposes of traveling and vacationing, it seems to me, is to know the pleasure of returning home--in spite of the frigid below zero temperatures here in Minnesota. Even though we loved our time with our dear and generous friends, how good it was to open the door of The Little House and to be home. 

Never mind that one of the smoke alarms was beeping and the battery needed to be changed, (Note to self: February, 2016, change all smoke alarm batteries.) and one of the window shades had pulled away from the top.  Those are only minor "that will teach you to leave for two weeks" pokes. Our daughter had stopped by to turn up the furnace before picking us up from the airport, making the house toasty warm for our arrival. I had worked to leave the house clean and ordered, which I knew would add to the ease of re-entry. Our daughter invited us for supper and even though it was shocking to head back out into tundra temperatures, we were eager to reunite with our family. Oh, how we missed the grands! Seeing them right away was another signal that we are truly home.

Generally, we handle re-entry well. I know some people like to ease into their return, unpacking in stages, for example, but we move into action. We unload our suitcases and get the laundry going right away. We sort through the mail, even opening the bills that arrived while we were gone. I make a grocery list and if we have returned early in the day do the grocery shopping right away. If this were summer, Bruce would mow the lawn and begin working in the garden. Soon one would never know we have been gone. 

For some people this kind of immediate settling-in routine might feel as if they are letting go of the pleasures, the adventures, the sights and sounds and experiences of being away, but, instead, for me re-bonding with our life here at home is part of integrating those times. For example, if we have brought any treasures home with us, I find a place for them, re-living, as I do so, the enjoyment of finding them at an outdoor art fair or the terrific independent bookstore we had read about or the beach in Sanibel. 

Along with these treasures, I usually return from trips with various resolutions tucked into my suitcases--to eat better or exercise more, for example. Or I have formulated some redecorating plans or I have jotted down lots of ideas and thoughts for future teaching or writing. I am not sure what the long term effects of this recent time away will be, and not everything sticks as ordinary days take over, but I know if I listen carefully and if I plan for reflection time, I am more apt to clarify the gifts of this recent time. 

In fact, I experienced one gift the first morning home. In recent months I have not routinely included meditation time in my morning quiet time. I have read stimulating and thought-provoking material. I have written in my journal and spent time in prayer, but meditating has fallen by the wayside. Ah-ha, I realized while sitting on the beach. I need to change where I sit when I meditate, for my reading chair is  too cushy, and I also need to change when I meditate. Instead of doing it first thing after getting up and coming up to my garret space, I need to keep that activity separate from the rest of my devotion time, doing it after my shower when I am more awake, and doing it right before I begin my writing time. And that is what I am now doing. Who knows if this new thought about a spiritual practice that nurtures me would have occurred if I had not stepped away from it for a period of time? 

When I facilitate a retreat for a group or an individual, I often end the retreat by asking the participants to consider what they might do to bring the learnings and new awarenesses into their day-to day life. I ask them to think ahead to what they might need in the first days home--both from themselves and from those around them who were not part of the retreat. What do you want them to know? What will it be important for you to share? Is there a next step you want to take now that you have had this experience, one that may have been profound for you? How will you make home even more your home because of what you have just experienced? 

The time away, the time-out, has added to who we are, although it may take awhile to discover what that means, and this process of settling-in is a way to blur the lines between vacation time and life at home. 

     …sometimes  we don't know our true home, or where 
     we most belong, until we leave there. The pilgrim's
     journey home is an opportunity to integrate the 
     learning and experiences of the present with the memories
     and relationships of our past…The way of the pilgrim is
     essentially about fostering greater connection between our
     past, our present, and our future…To become whole, we
     need the journey and we need to journey home.
                                      Pilgrimage, The Sacred Art, Journey
                                      to the Center of the Heart
                                      Dr. Sheryl A. Kujawa-Holbrook
                                      pp. 148-150                                     http://www.cst.edu/academics/faculty/profile/sheryl-kujawa-holbrook/

Even though being away from home is not always a pilgrimage and even though travel may not be considered an intentional retreat, still, there is always the possibility for new growth and insights when we are not in our daily routine and are away from our accepted loop of life. In these first days of resettlement how important it is to pay attention and watch and listen for the gifts of being away and returning home. 

An Invitation
When did you last leave home? How did that time enrich your life and what have you done to integrate that time into your ordinary life? Are you currently planning a trip, and if so, what can you do to ensure that you are awake and aware from the time you leave home till you are safely resettled? I would love to know.   

Wise Women in the Den, a post by Nancy L. Agneberg

They aren't here now, but I still feel their energy, the energy of wise women who gathered together for a day-long retreat in our home. A retreat to mark the beginning of a new year. A day inspired by  Nollaig na mBan or Women's Christmas, which originated in Ireland and is celebrated on or near Epiphany, January 6, the end of the Christmas season. Women's Christmas began as a day when women could rest from all the tasks women generally do at Christmas and a day when women could celebrate and honor each other. And that's just what my women's spirituality group, Wise Women, did as we enjoyed time for quiet reflection and time for sharing with one another. 
    We each came with our own hopes and thoughts for the day. My role was simply to provide the space, along with a basic plan and questions and suggestions to consider. After an opening meditation together in the den, we each found a place in the house to spend the morning. One in the sunny guest room, the Girlfriend Room. One in Bruce's den where she spread out her yoga mat. One in the lower level office area. I was in the Mama Chair in the living room, my normal location in the winter months for journal writing, meditating and reading. Quiet energy filled the house as wise women reflected on their lives. 
     I had prepared for my participation in the retreat by rereading my 2012 journals --always a good way to remind myself of where I have been, along with the patterns of the last year, the growth and the need for further growth. I discovered almost a total preoccupation, at least in the journals, with selling our home as part of our plan to downsize and eventually retire. Coming into the new year I was feeling one-dimensional already, but reading the journals certainly reinforced that impression. With that in mind my hope for the retreat day was to clarify and set my intentions for the new year. I started by opening a new journal, always a good place to start!
     I asked myself, "What is the invitation of 2013? Will it be a year when I surprise myself? How will the paradox, 'moving forward and standing still' be manifest in my life? In what ways will I choose to use my gifts, and how will I be called upon to use those gifts? What do I want to read in my journal at the beginning of 2014?" 
    I realized how much of the past year had been spent waiting--waiting to sell the house before I take the next step, whatever that step might be. I have been patient, but when is patience and waiting not such a good thing? What is the shadow side of waiting? How has being patient impeded me from living life fully?
     And there it was: Live Life Fully. 
     When I Live Life Fully, I am aware and engaged. I do what I love. I love more fully.  I have more energy. I am clearer about what is needed and what the priorities are. I am capable of growing and giving. 
     When I Live Life Fully, I am in the present moment.  
      Last year's intention was simpler and clearer, and even measurable: write a letter every day. 365 days and 365 letters.  
     This year's intention to Life Life Fully will evolve, and its meaning will transition as life changes and as circumstances present themselves. In Mark Nepo's words, "the heavenly pivot," or "unplanned unfoldings." Being with the Wise Women reminded me that when I ground myself in my ongoing spiritual practices --meditation, journal writing, reading/studying -- and when I choose activities that support my body, mind and spirit, including exercising daily and eating well and spending time with family and friends, I just naturally Live Life Fully. 
     At the end of the day, Wise Women gathered in the den to offer safety and support as we shared learnings and discoveries from the day. We honored each other and the wisdom we each possess. May we each Live Life Fully.   
    
Note: Thanks to Jan L. Richardson for introducing me to the idea of Women's Christmas. See her site  http://sanctuaryofwomen.com /blog/women's-christmas-the map-you make-yourself/