Happy New Year!
How have you entered 2018?
Did you enter with all alarms sounding and a long list of January tasks?
In the past, especially in the years before we became empty nesters, I charged into the new year, armed with a new calendar and a notebook with a long TO DO list and goals for the year. And, of course, the resolutions repeated year after year. Lose weight. Exercise more. Eat healthier.
I was determined to clean every closet and dust every bookshelf, and reorganize every drawer during the month of January. I read all the women's and home decor magazines, eager to glean new tips and hints for living a simpler and yet more gracious life.
My lists weren't just about cleaning, but I had lists about events to plan and people to see and classes to take. And, of course, topics for potential books and articles.
I am by nature an organized and fairly energetic person and therefore, didn't feel daunted by the length and breadth of my lists, but I didn't leave lots of room for spontaneity or whim. Or relaxation and contemplation (outside of my daily journal writing, of course).
In recent years I have tried to approach the new year in a different way. More as a continuation of the previous year.
Yes, putting away the Christmas decorations leads to more extensive cleaning than weekly maintenance. Yes, I think about what worked well for me in the past year (and what didn't), but I also think about what ongoing practices are crucial to my well-being and my spiritual development. Such as my morning meditation time and my active involvement at our church. And my connection to family and friends. And nurturing my love of both writing and reading. None of those items require a To Do list. They are part of my true self.
Three More Thoughts
1. In the Foreword to Pilgrimage of a Soul, Contemplative Spirituality for the Active Life by Phileena Heuertz, Phyllis Tickle urges the reader to "enter gently." I love that phrase and feel its call as I enter the new year. I often advise others to be "gentle with yourself," when challenges seem to overwhelm. I can benefit from my own advice.
2. Each year I listen for a word to guide me in the coming year. Last year "Sacred Yes, Sacred No" was a guiding light, and I know that needs to be an ongoing mantra for me, but I am adding the word "devotion." This is a time when I need and want to devote myself more--on a deeper, more consistent level--to the writing and revising of my spiritual memoir. But this word applies to other areas of my life, too. In fact, it calls me to open to all life with an attitude of devotion and gratitude and faithfulness.
3. I consulted The Joy of Ritual by Barbara Bizou when I started planning an open labyrinth day (Gloria Dei Lutheran Church, St Paul, Tuesday, January 9, 1:00-6:00. All are welcome.) and read how the first twelve days of the year can represent the twelve months of the new year. Approaching these first days in this way "provides an amazing chance to think about how you want your upcoming year to go. By practicing loving kindness, openness, and generosity, while giving thoughtful attention to the significance of each day, you will consecrate the coming year."
The year is young, but already I feel renewed hope and an outlook for new growth and healing.
An Invitation
How have you entered the new year and how do you intend to move through the coming days? I would love to know.
They aren't here now, but I still feel their energy, the energy of wise women who gathered together for a day-long retreat in our home. A retreat to mark the beginning of a new year. A day inspired by Nollaig na mBan or Women's Christmas, which originated in Ireland and is celebrated on or near Epiphany, January 6, the end of the Christmas season. Women's Christmas began as a day when women could rest from all the tasks women generally do at Christmas and a day when women could celebrate and honor each other. And that's just what my women's spirituality group, Wise Women, did as we enjoyed time for quiet reflection and time for sharing with one another.
We each came with our own hopes and thoughts for the day. My role was simply to provide the space, along with a basic plan and questions and suggestions to consider. After an opening meditation together in the den, we each found a place in the house to spend the morning. One in the sunny guest room, the Girlfriend Room. One in Bruce's den where she spread out her yoga mat. One in the lower level office area. I was in the Mama Chair in the living room, my normal location in the winter months for journal writing, meditating and reading. Quiet energy filled the house as wise women reflected on their lives.
I had prepared for my participation in the retreat by rereading my 2012 journals --always a good way to remind myself of where I have been, along with the patterns of the last year, the growth and the need for further growth. I discovered almost a total preoccupation, at least in the journals, with selling our home as part of our plan to downsize and eventually retire. Coming into the new year I was feeling one-dimensional already, but reading the journals certainly reinforced that impression. With that in mind my hope for the retreat day was to clarify and set my intentions for the new year. I started by opening a new journal, always a good place to start!
I asked myself, "What is the invitation of 2013? Will it be a year when I surprise myself? How will the paradox, 'moving forward and standing still' be manifest in my life? In what ways will I choose to use my gifts, and how will I be called upon to use those gifts? What do I want to read in my journal at the beginning of 2014?"
I realized how much of the past year had been spent waiting--waiting to sell the house before I take the next step, whatever that step might be. I have been patient, but when is patience and waiting not such a good thing? What is the shadow side of waiting? How has being patient impeded me from living life fully?
And there it was: Live Life Fully.
When I Live Life Fully, I am aware and engaged. I do what I love. I love more fully. I have more energy. I am clearer about what is needed and what the priorities are. I am capable of growing and giving.
When I Live Life Fully, I am in the present moment.
Last year's intention was simpler and clearer, and even measurable: write a letter every day. 365 days and 365 letters.
This year's intention to Life Life Fully will evolve, and its meaning will transition as life changes and as circumstances present themselves. In Mark Nepo's words, "the heavenly pivot," or "unplanned unfoldings." Being with the Wise Women reminded me that when I ground myself in my ongoing spiritual practices --meditation, journal writing, reading/studying -- and when I choose activities that support my body, mind and spirit, including exercising daily and eating well and spending time with family and friends, I just naturally Live Life Fully.
At the end of the day, Wise Women gathered in the den to offer safety and support as we shared learnings and discoveries from the day. We honored each other and the wisdom we each possess. May we each Live Life Fully.
Note: Thanks to Jan L. Richardson for introducing me to the idea of Women's Christmas. See her site http://sanctuaryofwomen.com /blog/women's-christmas-the map-you make-yourself/
I am paying attention not only to when I use the word "intention," but also to times when I wish I had used it. I recall years ago when I struggled with "forgiveness." I said "I forgive," but I didn't feel it at that point. How much more honest it would have been if I had said, "I intend to forgive."
Forgiving is a process, and I had not yet done the inner work to arrive at a clear and clean forgiveness.
I was fairly sure I would get there. Everything in my heart wanted to be there, but it wasn't fair of me to state my forgiveness when I didn't feel it yet. Eventually, I arrived at that holy place, but how different it would have been if I had first said "My intention is to forgive fully and completely." An intention holds within it an obligation to do your very best to fulfill it. An intention is not an empty promise. An intention is a direction, a movement forward, an expression of one's heart, an opening to one's essence.
When has the word "intention" created an opening in your life? I am impressed with one example I read in a friend's blog and invite you to be inspired by her story. http://coachnotes.wordpress.com/2012/01/10/happy-new-year-and-hooray-for-daily-walks/
Light Blessings to you as you explore your intentions for the new year.
