Waking Up: Tuesday's Reflection

Some mornings I need more than one wake up call.

I fell asleep easily after a wonderful evening with friends, but then was awake for a couple hours as Sunday became Monday. Of course, that meant when my gentle alarm sounded at 6:30, I was reluctant to get out of bed. I resisted for 45 minutes. 

Had I forgotten how much I need to do today? How will I meet the deadlines I have set for myself? Oooh, that "to do" list--both a blessing and a rebuke in my life. 

Even though I am up later than intended, however, I make the bed and go up the stairs to the garret for my morning meditation time, and, of course, what awaits me is exactly what I need.

First, from Joyce Rupp, "I awaken to what sleeps in me."

What sleeps in me? 

My true self, my essence, the person I was created to be. 
A willingness to rest in the embrace of God. 
Expansive love. 
More growth and openness. 

My job is to wake up.

Second, I start reading a new book, The Grace in Living, Recognize It, Trust It, Abide In It by Kathleen Dowling Singh and in the introduction I read this phrase, "exploration of our own path of awakening." She suggests creating a timeline of our life on which we mark "grace points," to indicate a "significant moment of healing, realization, or transformative shift." 

Moments of awakening to what sleeps in me. 

After writing in my journal about the synchronicity in these passages in different books, I decide to read a couple pages in a book about writing, Writing Toward Home, Tales and Lessons to Find Your Way by Georgia Heard. She quotes Matthew Fox, "Thou shalt fall in love at least three times a day."

In other words, WAKE UP!     

An Invitation
What sleeps in you and what do you need, in order to wake up? I would love to know.   

Resources:  
Kathleen Dowling Singh
Joyce Rupp
Georgia Heard

The Pause That Refreshes: Thursday's Reflection

Every morning as I climb the stairs to my garret for my meditation time, I pause and look out the windows towards the back yard. My first pause of the day. Thanks to the Head Gardener at our house, the view is one of evolving beauty and joy, and in this brief pause I offer thanks for the gift of another day and for the privilege I have of sharing my life with someone who shares his gifts so abundantly. 

I sit in my comfortable chair and read a chapter in my current devotional book, pausing periodically to reread words that resonate or words that puzzle me or words that just bear repeating. "Generating joy, we enter and offer joy. Generating peace, we enter and offer peace. Generating stillness, we enter and offer equanimity." The Grace in Aging, Awaken As You Grow Older, Kathleen Dowling Singh http://www.kathleendowlingsingh.com

I meditate, intentional pausing, taking deep breaths, finding my own rhythm. I note where my thoughts land, and I attempt to ease them from the space at least for the moment. I sit quietly a few minutes longer, lifting names or concerns or gratitudes in prayer. I open my eyes and take a deep breath, feeling a bit more prepared for the day. 

I move to my desk to check my email, and today Isee the name of a dear friend from another time of my life. We don't communicate often, but there is a heart connection. I pause and hold loving thoughts of her. Soon I will create a pause in the day in which to write to her. 

It is tempting to stay at my desk and begin the day's writing, but instead, I head outside for my morning walk. I know the main purpose of my walk is exercise, but it seems I find many reasons to pause --sometimes in praise of someone's gardening talents or just to appreciate an interesting looking home. Sometimes I pause to send a blessing, if a home looks neglected or if I hear sounds of children in their early morning exuberance. 

One house I pass frequently seems to my judging eyes in need of care, but I often hear through the open windows the sound of someone playing a guitar and singing softly. I pause to check my need to fill in the blanks, to understand and make sense of why this house looks so shabby and uncared for and yet, there is music being made there. All that is asked of me in this present moment is to whisper, "May all be well." 

I continue through my day, writing the next post for this blog, working on a chapter for my book, answering emails, giving feedback to the members of my small group in the online writing class I am taking, perhaps doing some laundry, making a trip to the grocery store, checking in with my Dad, having casual conversations with Bruce as he goes through his own agenda for the day, fixing dinner, and so it goes. I respond to what the day brings, and if I am mindful, I pause now and then. 

In those brief, barely noticeable moments of pause, I become more present. I clear the space. I open my heart. Singh refers to "sublime abiding." I love that term. In the pause I hold everything a bit lighter. 

Last evening after dinner I took a book and went to our sanctuary side garden we call Cotswold. I had thought about returning to my desk in the garret to write, for I had not completed my self-assigned writing assignment, but instead I had paused at the bottom of the stairs. I listened, just listened, and I think I heard the hydrangeas growing at the base of our front steps. I think I heard the sweet statue of the little girl adjust her position just a bit. I heard the moment call to me, "Come sit and be." 

And that's what I did. 

An Invitation
When do you pause? What happens when you do? I would love to know.  

What Do You Think About the Word "Aging?" Tuesday's Reflection

The Beauty of Aging in Nature

I have been asked to plan with our church's seminary intern, a woman my age, a fall retreat for members who fall into the age category referred to as the Third Chapter of Life. This retreat is a follow-up to some previous programming on end-of-life planning and has been requested by many in the church. I am delighted to be part of this and feel certain we will have a positive response to the opportunity, IF we can come up with the right title.

At a recent planning meeting, Cate and I decided to call the retreat  "Aging as a Spiritual Practice." We will focus on opportunities for reflection and offer experiences with a variety of spiritual practices. However, when Cate announced the title to a Monday morning Bible Study group, which consists mainly of our target audience, we got a big thumbs down. The word "aging" is a "turn off" and they don't want to be in the "aging group." 

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, for being an elder in our youth culture is nothing to aspire to, but the reality is, my friends, the only way to prevent aging is to die. 

Isn't it time to stop blaming someone else, usually someone younger, for what seems to be the prevailing attitudes about being old, older, oldest as lesser than another age of our life? It is time for us, those in our 60's and above, to embrace the gifts and the blessings of this time without being unrealistic about the burdens. That's one reason why I refer so often in this blog to Joan Chittister's book, The Gift Of Years, Growing Older Gracefully. In each chapter, Chittister explores both the burden and the blessing of a specific topic such as "Possibility."
          A burden of these years is to assume that when the
          great change from being defined and delimited by
          the past--however good it may have been--is over, 
          that life is over.

          A blessing of these years is to realize early, that
          this stage of life is full of possibilities, full of the 
          desire to go on living, to seize the independence,
          to create new activities and networks of interesting
          new people.    p. 58. 

One can find shadow and light in everything, and aging is no exception, but being 30, 40, 50 or any age also has limiting challenges. Each age has its blessings, and each age its burdens. 

I'm sure you've heard and perhaps even used the phrase, "Aging is not for sissies," which seems to emphasize the physical challenges of this time and also the losses that mount up --all true--but it also creates a false view, I think, that we are somewhat better or stronger if we can rise above adversity. How about, instead, accepting the burden and the blessing that comes with whatever challenges appear along the way? What a legacy we can leave to younger generations, if we could stop begging to be seen as still young and vital and instead embrace all the ways we can live our wisdom.

Instead of playing the new game of "70 is the new 50," or is it "50 is the new 70" (neither of which makes any sense to me!), why not 70 is the new 70? In my case, 67 is the new 67. It is more important in my view to know how I feel about who I am right now and how I can live fully right now. What do I think are the blessings and the burdens in my life at the present moment and how do I intend to respond to them?

Kathleen Dowling Singh in her book with another title I love, The Grace in Aging, Awaken As You Grow Older offers a questionnaire on aging--an excellent way to reflect on how you feel about being in the category of aging. Here are some sample questions.
* How do you feel about aging?
* How has your appearance changed? How do you feel about it?
* How has your position in the world changed? How do you feel about it?
* How has your reception in the world changed? How do you feel about it?
* What are your fears about your own experience of aging--to date and in the future? 
* What views about aging and the elderly--both positive and negative--have you absorbed from your cultural and family background, and how do you feel these may be unconsciously influencing your current thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and attitudes? 
* In what aspects of living have you most directed your attention and energy to date? What has been nurturing, fulfilling, supportive? What has been stressful for you?
* How do you intend to direct your energy and attention in the years remaining to you?
* What are your thoughts about spiritual maturity? What is your commitment to your own spiritual maturity? What steps have you taken? What steps do you intend to take? What keeps you from taking them now?

Singh urges us to become elders, more than elderly, and she says the way to do that is to cultivate spiritual practices, which, in turn, awakens us to our own being. With that in mind what do you think about this as a potential title for the retreat? "Inspiration for the Third Chapter of Life, Spiritual Practice and Sacred Time"

An Invitation
I invite you to reflect on the questions above and to use them as a guide in living intentionally as an elder. I would love to know what you learn. 

Resources
Joan Chittister http://joanchittister.org
Kathleen Dowling Singh  http://www.kathleendowlingsingh.com      
A blog I enjoy reading: http://www.timegoesby.net/weblog/ Note yesterday's post about the language of yesterday.