Sympathy Cards and Planning Ahead: Tuesday's Reflection

I buy bunches of sympathy cards, instead of just one as needed, and even so I have to replenish the stack frequently. 

Attending funerals and memorial services more often, along with sending sympathy cards is a reality that comes with age. In fact, my husband and I recently attended two services. We felt privileged to celebrate a dear one's life and to support and be a presence to those most in the midst of loss and sadness. In both cases we connected with friends and family we had not seen for awhile and in that way carried our past forward into our present. 

At the same time attending a funeral or memorial service makes me think about a service that one day will be held for me. 

This past year Bruce and I made arrangements to be cremated after our deaths. We signed the papers and wrote the check, and it feels good to have that plan in place. Have you done that yet?

My wishes for my memorial service are not quite as clear, although our church's traditional celebration of life, including holy communion, provides the framework. I am grateful for that. Recently I labeled a folder "My Memorial Service" and have tossed inside some notes. (FYI: The folder is located in the top right hand drawer in the garret, by the way.)

Here are some requests and ideas:

Two Hymns:  "Beautiful Savior" because it is a favorite family hymn, and I can still hear my father and my paternal grandmother singing it, but also because I have loved hearing it sung by the St Olaf Choir over the years. The other hymn is "Morning Has Broken." I love the melody, but also the images of ongoing creation. 
                   Morning has broken like the first morning
                   Blackbird has spoken like the first bird.
                   Praise for the singing! Praise for the morning!
                   Praise for the springing fresh from the Word.

Time for Silence: I begin each day in silence, hoping to hear a whisper of God's voice within. I lean into solitude and know how sacred silence grounds and strengthens me, but there is also something so profound about sharing silent space with a group of people. 

As a way to enter into silence, I suggest one of my favorite spiritual practices, praying Psalm 46:10. 
                   Be still and know that I am God.
                   Be still and know that I am.
                   Be still and know.
                   Be still.
                   Be.

Words from Isaiah 43:
             I have called you by name, you are mine.
            When you pass through the waters I will be with you;
            and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
            when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
            and the flame shall not consume you.

            Because you are precious in my eyes and honored and
            I love you. 

These words have surrounded me when I have felt alone or unloved or unsure about my path, and they remind me that each one of us is precious and honored and loved. 

Oh, one last thing. One of my spiritual practices over the years has been T'ai Chi. Yes, it would be unusual, but I know some of you would be willing to form a circle and do the opening moves before enjoying food and drink after the service or before my ashes are buried. If I could be there, I would teach you!
              Stand with your feet shoulder width apart and 
              your knees slightly bent. 
              Take a deep cleansing breath and lift up your arms to 
              your sides shoulder height.
              Lower your arms in front of your body and gather
              earth energy up from the earth all the way through
              the core of your body, up and out the top of your head,
              releasing to heaven, opening and receiving from
              heaven. 

What a blessing that would be. 

There are more bits and pieces tucked inside my folder, and I suspect I will add more as I go along. I hope these suggestions will help my loved ones in the future, but doing this reminds me to pay attention to what guides me and reinforces me in the ways I want to live my life right now. 

An Invitation
Have you started gathering your thoughts and suggestions for your funeral or memorial service? I would love to know what is in your folder.