Thursday Reflection: Mission Statement

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As part of doing research for the book I am writing, I have been reading the journals I wrote when we first moved to Shaker Heights, Ohio, in 1994.  Those first couple years of our life in Ohio were not easy, and the ongoing theme in my journals is grief and loss and loneliness, but those years were also a time of re-evaluation and reflection for me. What was it I wanted to do with that next stage of my life? 

I investigated all sorts of possibilities and walked a number of avenues, including freelance writing or going back to school and getting a theology degree. Eventually, I trained as a spiritual director, but that is another story.

Along the way I was motivated to write a mission statement for myself.
          
          My purpose is to be a lifelong learner, to live life with
          openness, with joy, with a spirit of tolerance, and to 
          share that attitude with others. My intention is to 
          express my love of God through my actions and 
          bearing, my being and my doing. 

Over the years these statements could have been modified, but I think the general meaning still fits who I am and who I strive to be. 
Within these statements is room for growth and change and for new interests and directions. The important thing, I think, is to be true to my essence--and to always be in search of that true self. 

As we age, some of us have a hard time knowing our purpose, finding a direction, especially as our work lives end or decrease and as the roles we have worn for many years are set aside. What a perfect time to ask ourselves what is most important to us? What really matters? What within you is asking to see the light and breathe fresh air?

Marjory Zoet Bankson in her book Creative Aging, Rethinking Retirement and Non-Retirement in a Changing World refers to the years between 60 and 75 as a "generative period' or "post career creativity that seems to arise from a deeper spiritual stratum--a layer of soul compressed under the pile of ego expectations and responsibilities that come from work and family needs in an earlier career stage." p. 3. Bankson refers to a "spiral of call" in which we are called to consciousness and creativity with each transition. 

Molly Strode refers to our "soul purpose" in Creating A Spiritual Retirement, A Guide to the Unseen Possibilities in Our Lives. Maria Harris calls this time "jubilee time" (Jubilee Time, Celebrating Women, Spirit, and the Advent of Age) and Richard Leider (Claiming Your Place at the Fire, Living the Second Half of Your Life) says "Elderhood is just another calling."

Here's another way to approach this time. Have you noticed all the shops springing up in which people have taken old furniture and have given it new life? That heavy china cabinet full of crystal that once dominated a formal dining room is now painted turquoise or chartreuse and holds kids' games and DVDs. A stiff wingback chair upholstered in brocade is now a riot of color and pattern. Perhaps we need to stand in front of ourselves and imagine what new color will boost us into vibrant energy? Or is there a way what has always been can become it own new thing? Can we re-purpose our view of ourselves and who we think we are, even if we think it is too late or we have done what we set out to accomplish and who cares anyway? 

I now realize our years in Madison were sabbatical years for me, years of transition, a link between our life in Ohio and the full circle return home to Minnesota. A time-out in some ways, but now I realize I am not done. I have re-examined my purpose, listened for the whisper of a call, and now I am eagerly building a practice in spiritual direction here, along with facilitating an occasional retreat or teaching a class on topics related to spirituality. And I am finally devoting myself to writing the book that has been percolating for nearly twenty years. Now is the time. 

I feel full of purpose and meaning. The particulars may change over time. I may need to update the upholstery or give my plans a fresh coat of paint yet again.  I may revise the methods and the commitments, but this time is all about knowing God within myself and living that with others. Yup, I think my mission statement written in 1994 still fits. 

An Invitation
What is most important to you right now? How can you live your life more fully and wholly right now? When you think about what has given you meaning in the past, how can that be re-purposed for your abilities and gifts right now? I would love to know, and if you choose to write a mission statement, would you be willing to share it? 

Links to Resources
Richard Leider
Molly Strode
Maria Harris
Marjory Zoet Bankson

Thursday's Reflection: Graduation

As I wrapped a present for our youngest niece who is graduating from college next week, I thought about my own college graduation 45 years ago. Is that really possible? I remember being on campus and seeing all those "old" people return for Homecoming or reunions or the annual Christmas Festival and feeling a bit smug in my youth. Now I am one of those old people, and I am no longer smug.

I was one of the lucky ones in 1970. I had a job before my diploma was in my hands, a teaching contract for a brand new junior high school in Rochester, MN, and I was more than eager to begin that challenge. I felt ready to begin the next stage in my life. 

On my way to the registrar's office to pick up my diploma after the ceremony, I passed the man who is now my husband. We had dated in college off and on, but mostly off, as we always say when someone asks us about how we met. We had not dated senior year, but we were friends with no hard feelings about our stalled relationship. As we passed each other, I waved and said, "Have a nice life." And that was that. Little did I know that in the summer of 1971 we would get married, but that is another story. A good story. 

What I didn't know on graduation day --and how can anyone know--was all the detours I would take, all the scenic overlooks that would grab my attention, all the joys and sorrows, the changes, even the dead ends. Two children now with wonderful spouses, two grandchildren, several moves and homes, a circle of friends, changes in career, loss of my mother and a few friends. Opportunities taken and opportunities missed. 

I thought I knew on graduation day whom I was, and, of course, what I have learned over the years was that I only knew a version of myself. Those years between 1970 and today allowed me to form,  re-form, modify and clarify that knowledge of myself. I accepted new roles and added layers to myself over the years--not always true ones. I sometimes allowed myself to be what others wanted me to be, but sometimes the expectations of others helped me know more about whom I really am and not just whom I thought I wanted to be. 

I continue to learn, but now the search is not so much about my persona in the world, but, instead, is much more about discovering the person I was created to be and how to live my essence. A spiritual search for sure. 

And the time to conduct this search is certainly shorter than it once was. 

As we age many of us struggle, especially when faced with serious physical challenges, to be whom we are, but what does that really mean? How do we define whom we are? What is it that makes me, me and you, you? When do you feel most like the person you were created to be? Are you still that person when stripped of certain roles in your life or physical or mental abilities? 

I have no concrete answers, but I know that intentionally including spiritual practices into my life and attempting to live in the present moment enhances my awareness of this person I call "me." I know that thinking about what gives my life meaning and what my purpose is now, even though what I may DO in the world may feel diminished, helps me dig down to my essence. I know that for me paying attention to how God is moving in my life helps me stay in touch with my ongoing evolution into myself.

I rejoice for all those who are graduating. I thank God for their talents and abilities, their desires and hopes and dreams. May all be well for them, especially our dear niece. But I urge them to look kindly on all of us who graduated so long ago, for we still have our hopes and dreams, too, and we still have gifts to share, and we are still becoming whom we were created to be. 

An Invitation
How are you evolving? What do you know now about yourself that you didn't know when you last wore a cap and gown? I would love to know.   

Cancellations as "Found" Time, a post by Nancy L. Agneberg

Recently, plans have changed. Dates and appointments have been cancelled. An evening out with friends. A phone date. A lunch date. A visit from a friend. A visit to a friend. Even an appointment for a showing of our house was cancelled. Most of these items on my calendar have been rescheduled (Not the house showing appointment, however. Rats!), and most are just examples of life happening. Understandable and acceptable. Rarely do I worry about possible motivations underlying the change. Most of the time I don't view the cancellation as a criticism or disinterest, but instead, just one of those things. 

The Gift of Found Time

     However, this bundle of recent cancellations does make me wonder why so many in a short period of time? Is the Universe trying to tell me something? A message to be more flexible? An opportunity to be present to challenges in others' lives? A chance to let go of some control? To breathe? 

    Over the years people in my life have heard me use the phrase "Found Time." When plans change that open up space I didn't expect to have, I think of that as "found time." Sometimes found time happens when I am in the waiting room of a doctor's office or waiting to get my hair cut or an airline flight has been cancelled or delayed. I amaze myself, frankly, in those situations that I don't feel irritated or frustrated. Most of the time I am able to shrug my shoulders and exhibit patience.  I always have a book or magazine with me, so I relax easily into my found time with little or no  resentment. Sometimes, for example yesterday when the house showing scheduled for the mid afternoon was cancelled with a phone call first thing in the morning, I suddenly felt I had a whole day ahead of me; a day that did not need to include vacuuming and dusting. And a day that even included an extra hour, thanks to the clocks being set back, Talk about Found Time! 

How to Use Found Time

     I recognize that the experience of found time is a chance to listen to my heart. What is it I most want to do right now? My immediate inclination when there is a sudden appearance of found time is to fill it. Do errands I didn't think I would have time for. Do the next thing on the list of tasks for the week. Get a jump on something I planned to do tomorrow. Be productive. Accomplish something. Finish something I thought I would have to set aside. 

But sometimes I hear and respond to another message in the sudden appearance of found time. "Nancy, put your feet up. Sit. Relax. Enjoy time to read or write in your journal or take a walk. Slow down and listen to your heart." 

     Because there have been so many instances of "found time" lately, I have to wonder if instead of being asked to consider only my use of the immediate time, although that is a gift in itself,  am I being prodded to reflect on the bigger picture? How is it I want to be in the time I have left here on earth? How is it I am supposed to use my time? What is my purpose for this stage of my life? My call? I must admit I am struggling with that a bit these days, sitting in the midst of transition, a transition that feels a bit stuck to me. 

A New Intention 

     Therefore, now seems like a good time for a new intention; an intention that will not only help me respond to unexpected moments of found time, but will be a reminder to live in the present, for I believe it is in the present where we are given hints about the life we are meant to live

     My new intention:

For the next two months I will live fully in this house and in this holiday time of family and friends. I will honor requests for showings, but will treat them as a bonus and not as expected.

     As a sign of living fully here and now in this house, I moved my laptop back to the room on the lower level I have used as my office. Some potential buyers have not been able to imagine how to use this space, so I have "staged" it to look more like a family room. Many of my spirituality books, however, are still on the shelves, along with board games for family fun. This is where I feel most inspired to write and where I need to be. Here I can better fulfill my intention and find the time to write and study and pray. Here I can live in Found Time.

Reflection Questions

     How do you use "found time"? How do you respond when plans are cancelled? 

     What new intention is asking to be acknowledged in your life?

One last thing: Here in Wisconsin we continue to have lovely fall weather, although the temperatures are a bit cooler. These are "found" days.