Words of Wisdom on the Humane Virtues

I have been reading such a wise book, a challenging book, Forgiveness and Other Acts of Love by Stephanie Dowrick. In her book Dowrick examines the humane virtues: courage, fidelity, restraint, generosity, tolerance, and the oh so big one, forgiveness. 

Needless to say, I have underlined a lot in this book, and many times I thought I heard the author saying, "Nancy, this paragraph is for you!" or "Go back and read that sentence again, Nancy. Don't pretend these words don't apply to you."

Don't you hate it when that happens--when someone you don't even know, points out the work you need to do! 

Yes, I could use more courage, and yet at the same time Dowrick reminds me that I have survived the daily navigations between known and unknown.

Yes, I could exhibit more fidelity to the person I was created to be, but I have also paused along the way to remember what grounds and supports me.

Yes, I could exhibit more restraint, which Dowrick says is an expression of one's choice to act--or not--but somedays I actually start the day with a full consciousness of attitude. 

Yes, I could be more generous with my time and my gifts, but I know I have had times when I have flowed with love. 

Yes, I could live and act with more tolerance, but I rejoice when I feel myself open to what I don't know and to what challenges me.

Yes, I could forgive myself and others more graciously and willingly. What freedom, what lightness when forgiveness lives in and moves my heart.  

The purpose of this book is not to shame you nor is it a guidebook for becoming more virtuous. No, this is a book to read on the patio in the quiet of the day or place on your bedside table or even on your kitchen cupboard to read as you wait for the rhubarb sauce to boil. Read it in bits and pieces. You'll recognize the relevant parts and feel its companionship, one human, one spirit to another. 

 In the chapter on forgiveness, Dowrick writes

                It is the means to let go not only what was done
                to you, but how you were then, so that you can
                experience yourself as you are now. When it is
                appropriate, it is also the means to move on
                from an old version of another person to who
                that person is now. p. 337

The new version of myself is not perfect, that's for sure, but I yearn to be a more complete version of myself, and than means a person who lives with courage, fidelity, restraint, generosity, tolerance, and above all, a person who forgives.

I have work to do. 

Thich Nhat Hanh offers hope. "Looking deeply at our own mind and our own life, we will begin to see what to do and what not to do to bring about a real change." p. 316

One more thing. This past week I encountered the same quote in three different places. I guess that means I need to pay attention. 

            Find your practice and practice it.

            Find your teaching and follow it.

            Find your community and enter it.

            Find the suffering within yourself and the suffering

                of others and heal them.

                                        James Finley

I think Stephanie Dowrick would agree.

An Invitation

Which of the humane virtues is most challenging to you? I would love to know. 

NOTE: Watch for an announcement here in the next couple weeks about my "Summer Spirituality Guide."