We have not had the pleasure of a baby in the house for a long time, and as he walked on tiptoes around the coffee table or ottoman, I felt a surge of memories. Memories when our own children were babies.
How sweet was the "mmmm" sound as his mother spooned food into his mouth or the light squeals as he turned page after page in a favorite book or the slap, pat, slap, pat on the wood floors as he crawled from dining room to living room. Baby sounds.
My body remembered the post-nap cuddling and the feel of a small head under my neck just before bedtime. I felt my mind returning to a state of alertness, always aware of what our babies were doing or needing--or about to do or need.
Throughout the weekend Bruce and I shared stories with these young parents--the waves of nostalgia were almost tangible. How pleasant to revisit the treasures of those earlier days through the gifts of the present moment.
Macrina Wiederkehr in her book Gold In Your Memories calls these times "sacred moments, glimpses of God." and suggests ways to mine the gold of our memories:
...you will need to spend a lot of time with
your soul. The soul thrives on remembering...
there are soul prints in every fiber of your being,
even in the things you've forgotten. The soul is
the keeper of memories. She knows where beauty
is stored. p. 13
Obviously, not all memories are happy. Some memories are not golden. Joan Chittister points out, "Without memory we could go blithely on in life without ever really knowing what of that life was still unfinished, was still rumbling around inside of us, waiting for attention." Sometimes memory is the impetus to do the work of healing, releasing us from the trap memories can be. Instead memories can strengthen us, even open us even more to the present.
Having Bennett and his parents, such good parents, here allowed me to access a part of my life--not to dwell in it, but to remind me of its place in my life, my whole life. More words from Chittister:
The wonder of being able to see life as whole,
at any time and all times, is the great gift of memory.
It makes all of life a piece in progress. With one
part of the soul in the past and another in the present,
we are able to go on stitching together a life that
has integrity and wholeness. Because of memory life
is not simply one isolated act after another. It all
fits into the image of self and the goals of the
heart. It makes them real. It makes them whole.
p. 155 The Gift of Years
The present moment is a threshold to remembering, just as memories can heighten our ability to treasure the present moment.
An Invitation
What recent event or conversation has opened a door to memory for you? I would love to know.
I dwell a lot on the time in my life that I was raising my kids. It was chaotic, but the most fulfilling thing I've ever done. In a few short weeks, all of my adult children will be living out of state. Again, I'm in that 'now what?' mode. I ordered The Gift of Years and look forward to adding it to my morning reading. The only thing that lessens the yearning of what once was, is knowing that there is still so much for me to learn about. I tend to forget those moments when I was raising kids, and even though I was constantly reminded by myself and others that the time would go by quickly, there were still those moments when I wished it would hurry a little faster. This time is also challenging in its own way, but I want to learn how to linger and enjoy each breath.
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