Life's Little Anxieties: Thursday's Reflection

I felt that familiar twinge of tightening in my belly. I held my breath as I checked what I hoped would be the correct squares. Each square where a car was pictured. I moved the cursor over the word "verify," and hit it.

Yea! I got them all correct. I am not a robot! 

Does anyone else feel some test anxiety when you sign up for a blog and have to prove you are not a robot by identifying all the traffic lights or palm trees or whatever? Or when you renew your driver's license? Are you nervous you won't pass the eye exam? 

What are the little things, the silly things that cause you to feel anxious. Not in a major way, like waiting for the results of medical tests, for example, but rather the little irritating anxieties that poke at you.

An example: I have been asked to officiate at a wedding in October. The daughter of a dear friend. Am I nervous? Not really. I have been thinking about my homily and am quite sure I will be able to write something appropriate and perhaps even meaningful. I met with the lovely couple again recently and now have a good sense of the flow for the ceremony and so am not concerned about that. What bothers me, however, is WHAT WILL I WEAR? I stand in my closet and stare. I page through catalogs that come to the house and look online, too. No one will be looking at me, anyway, but the "right" outfit will make me feel more at ease. 

Another example: Our 50th college class reunion is coming up, and we have each agreed to be on one of the planning committees. (Bruce and I both graduated from St Olaf in 1970.) One of the things I know about my introverted self is that having a role reduces my anxiety, so being on a committee is a good thing. However, I am anxious about writing the autobiographical statement. When the instructions arrived last week, I was relieved by the November 15th deadline. Good, I will have time to write and rewrite. And rewrite again. But then, thanks to an email from the committee chair, I discovered those of us on the communications committee need to complete our profiles before a meeting on September 25th. Oh no!!! 

What else raises my anxiety level? 
* Being on time, but not too early.
* Finding parking in a busy or unknown area. Come to think of it some parking ramps make me nervous and please, I don't want to parallel park! 
* Paying bills. 
* Fixing the Thanksgiving Day turkey.
* Making phone calls. Texting and emails were made for me! 

See what I mean? These are minor anxieties.  Still, even though often trivial, they capture my attention and take away time and energy from more important things in my life. When I am anxious about something, I lose focus. I forget to be present to the gifts of the moment. 

In most of these cases I am able to laugh at myself. Laughing, by the way, requires breathing, and often that is what I most need to do. Breathe, Nancy, just breathe. 

Of course, over the span of my life, as is true for everyone, there have been larger, more major reasons to feel anxiety. And I know there will be more ahead. Perhaps, these minor anxieties invite me to practice ways to cope and to learn how to respond in healthier, more life-enhancing ways. One thing is for sure, they are prickly reminders of my humanity! 

An Invitation
What causes you minor anxiety? I would love to know.