Waiting for the Verdict

Now we wait. 

Yesterday the closing arguments were presented in the George Floyd murder case, and the jury was given its instructions. 

The prosecution urged the jury to believe what it saw.

The defense relied on "reasonable doubt," saying if you don't have all the ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies, you can't make chocolate chip cookies. If a single ingredient is missing, it is a not a guilty verdict. Does anyone else find that metaphor insulting? Trivial? Simple? 

Yesterday during my church's online worship service, the text for the opening hymn, "Have Mercy, God and Purge From Us" was written by Gloria Dei's assistant director of music and worship production, Paul Damico-Carper (You can listen here) and several lines keep vibrating within me:

      Have mercy, God, and purge from us enduring corporate sin...

      Lay bare the evil we ignore pretending peace within...

      Unbind our hearts, cast out our fears so we will start today to
      right the centuries of wrongs...

      Embolden us to be participants in turning our entire society...

      Revise our hearts where justice has eluded us too long...

Notice the strong verbs, especially "purge," "unbind," "embolden," and "revise." Active verbs. Nothing passive there. Words of change. 

I tend to think about what needs to change in our society--and much needs to change, but what needs to change within me? Where am I passive, when I need to be active? What do I need to purge? 

As a white person, I am used to being comfortable. I desire comfort, but this is not a comfortable time. For one thing, waiting for this verdict is not comfortable and if a "not guilty" verdict is found, life will be anything but comfortable. But can a person of color ever describe their life as comfortable? 

And if the verdict is "guilty," does that mean life can return to being comfortable for me, a white privileged woman? It shouldn't. And life in this society will still be uncomfortable for too many. 

I need these words from poet Steve Garnaas-Holmes:

    We will do justice, and love kindness, and walk humbly with God.
    We will no longer be afraid
     to do justice, to love kindness, to walk humbly with God.
     Even in the lingering darkness we are not afraid. 

And now we wait. 

An Invitation
What does being comfortable mean to you? What do you do with your discomfort? I would love to know. 

 NOTE: To see more of the portraits I feature in this post go to  https://www.mrjohnsonpaints.com