An Unfair Accusation

 What? Really? How is this possible? 

We received an official notice from the City of St Paul--actually three of them--one addressed to me, one to my husband, and one to "occupant." 

NOTICE TO REMOVE SNOW AND/OR ICE FROM SIDEWALK

Someone had lodged a complaint that our sidewalk had not been shoveled. The law in St Paul requires property owners to clear sidewalks of snow and/or ice within 24 hours of the most recent snowfall or ice accumulation. 

A good law, one I appreciate, AND a law we have complied with always. 

I was indignant and felt shamed.

Who complained? I don't believe it could be neighbors on our block. We have a terrific block, good neighbors whom we enjoy. We are one of the older couples on the block, and I am quite sure if our sidewalks weren't shoveled that someone would check on us and/or go ahead and do it. In fact, one of our neighbors has a snowblower and he routinely clears our sidewalk before my husband even has a chance to get out there and shovel. 

We love our home and take good care of it, and to be accused of not being good homeowners bruised my pride. Besides, there are many houses where that is not the case. Did anyone complain about them?

Maybe the wrong address or street was reported. Or maybe someone is making random complaints, much like the rash of car windows that have been smashed in our neighborhood recently. Should I get on our neighborhood app and ask if anyone has been reported unfairly? 

I seethed and stewed, and my husband shrugged his shoulders. That is one of the differences between the two of us. 

And then I did what I should have done before wasting all that self-righteous energy. I sat quietly in my Girlfriend Chair and closed my eyes lightly, not tightly, and breathed in gently, in and out, in and out, finding my own rhythm. And I listened for a wiser voice, "Nancy, let it go."

First, I agreed to let it go--my indignation, my need to understand and justify myself, to prove we had not done anything wrong, the shame I felt, and even my doubt (Maybe we did do something wrong!). And then I listened for what I might learn from this experience, from these feelings. Note: Agreeing to let go does not mean that is automatically accomplished!

I thought about all the times those far less fortunate than I am, far less able to defend themselves, have been accused unfairly and often tragically of doing or being something wrong. I thought about all the incorrect assumptions, the entitlements and inequities suffered by many, especially people of color.  

And then I thought about the person who complained to the city about us, and I prayed for his/her safety while moving through the days. I prayed for greater ease and light in the life of the person who complained, and I prayed for guidance for myself. May I live these wintry days with an open and loving heart.

An Invitation
When have you felt unjustly accused and what did you do? I would love to know.