Our vigil has ended. My beloved father died on Thursday, May 7.
Quietly. Peacefully.
He didn't die after a long illness or after a courageous battle with cancer or due to complications of COVID-19. He died of old age.
His 96 year old body finally allowed him to let go. During these past seven weeks of our caring for him 24/7, he died "one grain of sand," as my sister said, or as my husband said, "one half pound at a time."
He died prepared. He died without fear. He died a faithful man. He died knowing he was fully and deeply loved.
Our grief is only matched by our relief.
A few days before he died, I thought about how when my mother was close to death, our family gathered around her bed for a prayer service led by my parents' pastor and dear friend. Just as we were beginning, the phone rang, and it was my husband and son saying they were on their way from Cleveland. They were with us, too, as we expressed our love.
The first great grandchild in the family, Maren, was only a few months old at the time, and she added her babbles to our tears and words of love. Mom, who had seemed unresponsive, reached out to Maren, and our daughter climbed into bed with Mom and placed Maren next to her.
Mom said, "I am so blessed." Her last words.
Oh, how I wished it had been possible to gather in that way for our father, grandfather, great-grandfather, dear friend.
Instead, one of Dad's last mornings I asked him to close his eyes and to imagine us all standing around him. Then I named each one of us, slowly, allowing him to feel the presence of each one of us.
Each name was like the tolling of a bell.
Nancy
Bruce
Kate
Mike
Maren
Peter
Geof
Cricket
Scott
Teresa
Andrew
Emily
Celie
Christian
Felix
Harriet
Amy
Ted
Phillip
Marissa
Alli
Pastor David
Pastor Paul
Our family has grown in the seventeen years since my mother died, and it took quite sometime to go through the list, but I could tell Dad saw and felt each one of us in his heart.
At the end I read a prayer his pastor had sent me, a prayer I read to Dad several times in the last days.
"God of all creation, loving Savior of the cross, be with Dick and family today, as they navigate the last stages of this life.
He is your dear and precious child, and alongside him, I call out to you on his behalf, knowing that you are already tending him, and that your promises are sure.
Give him deep peace in his heart and assurance that all will be well through your Son, our Savior Jesus Christ."
Once again Dad expressed how much he loved all of us and how loved he felt.
Who could ask for more than that.
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Who needs to know you love them? Tell them.
I know about loss and also relief. My deepest sympathies, Nancy, to you and your family
ReplyDeletePrayers and love to you and your entire family. The good that you do for others reflect the love Dad gave to you. I lost my beloved father 51 years ago, but I will never, ever forget him. He, like your dad, lives forever in my heart.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful and loving tribute to your cherished Father! May He Rest in Peace and Be Joyful to be re-united with you Mother and other family members that have passed before Him! God Bless You and Your Sweet Family Always!
DeleteNancy, you write so lovingly of your father. We have all been with you during this journey, as you've shared with us. My condolences to you all. Dick loved well and was well loved. He will certainly live on in his many good deeds and our memories.
ReplyDeleteWhat a gift you've given your Dad, along with your loving family, as you sat and accompanied him on his journey these past months. How sweet and conforting for him to know that, along with his loving God, his circle of loving family, name-by-name, also were there to support his peaceful death. Thank you for sharing your & his journey with us. Ann Adams
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. I will hold you and your family in my prayers. Lynn Rankinen
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