Finding a New Normal: Tuesday's Post

Is anyone else finding it difficult to manage the new normal?

In my last two posts I wrote about strategies for staying at home and finding nourishment during this time of social distance and confinement, and yet, I, too, find this time challenging. I heard someone on the radio say, "I'm an introvert, but I am learning how much I need and want to be with people."

What are you learning about yourself right now?
What have you discovered to be especially challenging?

I know what I could be doing: 
        Writing more. What a perfect time to dig into the next chapter of my memoir. Have I don't that? Not yet.
         Reading more. I have had several false starts and have a pile of books to return to the library because they were not appealing. I think I have found a "go" finally, but I have not been reading my usual amount. 
         Walking more. I recently bought a Fitbit, but it is still in the box. Today is the day, I tell myself. The ice and snow are gone and even though it is still cold, I could bundle up and get out there.
         Praying and meditating more. I spend more time in my morning devotions, but I feel unfocused there, too. 

What am I doing? I am spending far too much time on my phone checking for the latest news about the coronavirus. The closings, the cancellations, the numbers, the pronouncements, the plans. It is time to divorce my phone--at least to set limits on my attachment to it.  I am sleeping more than I need to and watching more television than interests me. 

It is time to breathe and then breathe some more and relax into a new view of my days and a new gratitude for my own health and privilege to live these complicated days in comfort.

It is also time to accept the priority of this time. And that is my 96 year old father who has fallen several times recently. Fortunately, he has not broken anything, but he has become much weaker and needs more daily care and attention. That supersedes writing and reading time, for sure, but takes a different kind of energy. Lots of energy, actually. 

How many times have I said to a spiritual directee or someone in a group I have led or one of my own loved ones, "Be gentle with yourself." Well, I will try to honor my own advice. And I will forgive myself when I don't meet my own expectations--when I don't spend much time writing or when I choose to sit and watch something unmemorable on tv, instead of read. Or when my steps don't come close to 10,000, but how will I know if I don't take the Fitbit out of the box?

Instead, my drive to see my Dad can be a spiritual practice for me. The drive is a lovely one, along a parkway with a creek on one side and charming old homes on the other. I love seeing all the varieties of dogs being walked and the young children in strollers or scampering along the path. I cheer on the runners and walkers (all wearing Fitbits, I presume.) I have seen robins and hawks and turkeys and even an eagle, as I have been driving. Oh, and this large bunny, reminding us to smile. 



Each morning--and maybe at other times, too, I will sit in silence and know that is enough. I will know that I am being held and will breathe in and out as an offering to all who are feeling challenged during this time. 



An Invitation
What are your challenges right now? I would love to know.