Being in Dialogue: Tuesday's Reflection

I went to the Westminster Town Hall Forum to hear one of my heroes speak: Parker Palmer, whose books are lanterns along the way of my spiritual life.

I had no idea I would discover another star in the sky. 

Instead of one "old white man" speaking--and Palmer would say that about himself--I was introduced to an amazing Black woman in her 50's who has lots to share. Sondra Samuels, the president and CEO of the Northside Achievement Zone (NAZ), an organization focused on ending intergenerational poverty through education and family stability. 

I have no doubt I would have learned a great deal if Samuels had been the solo person on the platform, but oh, how much richer the hour was because of the dialogue between the two of them. 

Dialogue is richer than simple conversation and different from advice giving, for dialogue involves shared inquiry, which can increase the awareness and understanding of all parties. The purpose of dialogue is to share and understand how we each experience the world. When we enter into dialogue our hearts are touched and we are open to being changed. 

That's what Samuels and Palmer offered as they
        * listened to each other respectfully and with the ears of the heart, checking each other's responses, asking for clarification and amplification, 
       * dared to be vulnerable with each other, 
       * reminded us it is ok to let someone else have time to talk, and it is important to give time and space to talk about and listen to difficult and painful topics,
       * expressed curiosity, which can lead to deep listening. When we listen deeply we are truly present to the other person in their experience, in their sorrow and/or joy, and in their desire for connection. 

Most importantly, both Palmer and Samuels proclaimed the need to speak the truth and speak the truth in love. Not in "Minnesota Nice," and certainly not in rage. But in the listening and speaking  healing can occur. 

Granted, Samuels and Palmer seemed to be on the same page when it comes to politics and what is happening in this country, but their experiences over the years have been vastly different. Samuels carries her "blackness" in her body and Palmer will never know fully know what that means, but they leaned into each other, daring to speak and to hear one another.

Samuels quoted a poem by Hafiz, which Palmer included in his book Healing the Heart of Democracy, The Courage to Create a Politics Worthy of the Human Spirit, p. 47.
  
                                         Out
                                  of a great need
                           We are all holding hands
                                   And climbing
                           Not loving is a letting go.
                                        Listen,
                            The terrain around here
                                           Is
                                        Far too
                                     Dangerous
                                           For
                                          That.

An Invitation
Make a commitment to hold hands and climb together. Who is waiting to be in dialogue with you? I would love to know. 

My Favorite Parker Palmer books:
Healing the Heart of Democracy, The Courage to Create a Politics Worthy of the Human Spirit
Let Your heart Speak, Listening for the Voice of Vocation
A Hidden Wholeness, The Journey Toward an Undivided Life

You can listen to the podcast or online at https://www.westminsterforum.org/archive/