For the last couple weeks I have used my writing time to revise one chapter of my in progress memoir, and I am no where done working on it.Who knows when I will feel ready to read that chapter to my writing group and then after getting their feedback, I know I will need to revise some more. That's the way it is. Sometimes the process is frustrating, but most of the time it is illuminating. And even rewarding. With each revision, I come closer to what it is I most want to say, and I gain insight into what it is I am to learn from the stories of my life.
Yesterday during my meditation time I read the following sentence in a chapter on reflection and revision in Albert Flynn DeSilver's Writing as a Path to Awakening.
If all writing is rewriting, then maybe
all living is reliving.
That sentence seemed to blaze on the page for me. The words appeared in neon lights.
I don't think DeSilver only means we keep having the same experiences over and over again, although that certainly happens. We make the same mistakes over and over again. We enter the same unhealthy relationships or insist on maintaining the same unhealthy habits.
Instead, I think DeSilver means we have a chance to revise ourselves. We can look carefully at how we conduct our lives. We can reflect on what gives us joy, the ways we are called to serve, and how we are asked to live as the person God created us to be. And then we can take steps to structure our lives so it is a reflection of the sacred, of the holy, of the Divine's vision for us.
Elizabeth Jarret Andrew in her book Living Revision, A Writer's Craft as Spiritual Practice says "Revision is seeing anew," and "Revision requires inner work and thus is a spiritual practice."
This applies to life, as well as to writing a memoir, a novel, or poetry.
How do we do that? I think the titles/subtitles of some of the chapters in Andrew's book offers guidance:
Deep Listening
Seeing with Other's Eyes
Practicing Presence
Reframing
Reflecting In and On Your Stories
One of the subtitles in the book is "Transformation in Theme and Plot." Yes, your life has plot--all the events of your life--and your life has a theme, too. At least one. Andrew writes about themes as the "plot's inner life. They are the path by which particular experiences illuminate universal truths." The themes in your life are
the questions that flummox you year and year;
the facts that plague you, the longings that have
driven you since childhood. These themes reside
in your being... (p. 208)
At what point are you ready to revise what plagues you and to grow beyond or in some case, into the longings that have shadowed you?
What spiritual practices might help you do that? And who can help you in your personal revision process?
This week I read an earlier chapter to my writing group. I had worked on this chapter for long time, tweaking words and sentences, cutting sections, adding others, moving paragraphs. I had dug deep to find the words, the images, memories and stories from my life to express what I hoped to convey in that chapter. I had read it aloud to myself many, many times, changing something with almost every reading, but when I brought it to the group, I felt quite good about it.
But as I read the chapter aloud to them, I discovered additional changes I want to make. More revisions. How well the group listened and then asked good questions, clarifying questions. They offered positive comments, too, but it is clear I have more revising to do.
This is hard work, spiritual work, but I am determined to make this chapter the best it can be. I owe it to myself, but I also owe it to the readers I hope someday will read it. I believe this about my life, as well. I am determined to live my life as fully, as authentically as possible. My desire is to live as my True Self, and to do that is an ongoing process of reflection and revision.
An Invitation
Where are you in the revision process? I would love to know.
Nancy, I just recently discovered your blog, and I'm enjoying it so much. (Your book suggestions and excerpts have me running over to Amazon more than I should!) I've read various things about the "True Self"and "living authentically," but I still have a hard time wrapping my head around it. Your post today helps me see this more clearly.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your kind words. As I attempt to clarify who I was created to be, my ongoing hope is that I can help others do that, too. Thanks for reading.
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