Lost time.
Found time.
With the return to daylight savings time, I have been thinking about my relationship to time. Probably, I am thinking about time also because in a month I turn 70.
Where has the time gone?
Well, I certainly could list all the many ways the years have been filled. The kids. The jobs. The moves. The grandkids. The volunteer work. The friends.
The gifts.
The losses.
The challenges.
Day to day life as it exists.
The years that have passed have not been empty ones. Nor do I expect the coming ones will be empty, either, but they may fill in different ways and for sure, there will not be as many years ahead of me, as I have been privileged to live.
I have written before in this blog about "found" time, including this post. "Found" time is when something that is planned is cancelled. When all of a sudden there is an opening on the calendar or the schedule. Sometimes I fill that space with the next thing on the list, but sometimes I simply breathe into that time. I may retire into the snug to read, as I did one afternoon this week. My writing group decided not to struggle with the icy roads and bus delays and a cold that wouldn't end, and we cancelled. I could have and maybe should have spent the afternoon writing, but instead I grabbed a book from my pile and read it cover to cover. An afternoon of reading. Hurrah! That is the best kind of "found" time. A luxury of time.
For me "found" time is an exercise in discernment. Here is unplanned time I didn't expect to have, now how do I want to spend it? "Found" time is an occasion to exercise one's Sacred Yes and Sacred No. To be aware and awake to the call of an inner voice.
Now what about "lost" time? That's harder. In a day or two I will have forgotten the hour lost as we moved into daylight savings time, but I know there are ways I have lost time over the years.
I have lost time when I have dwelt on hurts and frustrations, on worries and fears. I have lost time when I have set aside my heart's yearnings. I have lost time when I have wrapped myself in rigidity and inflexibility or when I have tried to control someone or some situation in my life.
This adds up to a lot of "lost" time.
So here's what I am thinking. I have no idea how much time I have left in my life, but I intend to live each day as a kind of "found" time. A day to find joy and peace. A day to be grateful and to rejoice in the unbelievable riches in my life. A day to enjoy the simple things, the ordinary days. A day to use my gifts. A day to deepen my relationship to God. To open the door to God.
An Invitation
What are your thoughts about time? I would love to know.
For me on one level time is a mechanical thing devised my humans to regulate our lives. Railroads made standard time so you could make a journey easier. I have taken watches apart, cleaned them and put them back together. Wherever I set the hands made no difference to the pace of the world. If I needed more time to work on something I just delayed something else. I really enjoy when I out photographing wildlife because you are on their "time". Eagles don't care whether you have to go to work in 10 minutes. They aren't leaving till they are ready. I do very well without a clock. I'm typing this on my phone as I sit in the muffler shop waiting for the work to be done. Time? Whenever it's done, it's done
ReplyDeleteSuch wonderful thoughts. I love thinking about being in nature and waiting, waiting, waiting for eagles to leave the nest, the wolf to appear, the leaves to turn. Thanks for the gentle reminder. I remember being on safari in Africa and coming upon lions who seemed to be doing nothing, but wildebeests were in procession at a distance. Our guide told us we would just wait and wait we did until the female lions waited until the right time to attack. Their time and not ours.
DeleteI don't know if you could see the "unknown" thought was from me. I was typing from the phone so it didn't recognize it. I really enjoy the blog. Tom
DeleteI wondered if the unknown comment was written by you. It just had that Tom Zorko ring to it. Thanks for reading.
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