Overcoming Patriarchy: Tuesday's Reflection

I wish I had taken a photograph, but the picture in my mind will remain for a long time. One Sunday evening this month my husband and I attended an evening prayer service to commemorate Lutheran and Catholic unity at the magnificent Cathedral of Saint Paul. What made the event so memorable for me was seeing the Catholic Archbishop process up the aisle flanked by two female Lutheran bishops, Bishop Ann Svennungsen of the Minneapolis Area Synod, and Bishop Patricia Lull of the Saint Paul Area Synod. 

The teasing part of my mind imagined a conversation Bishop Bernard Hebda might have had with one of his advisors:

       "Seriously, both of the Lutheran bishops here in the Twin
       Cities are women? How is that possible?"

       "Not only is that true, but the Presiding Bishop of the ELCA
       (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America) is a woman, too."

       "Well, at least the two Catholic universities in Minneapolis 
       and St Paul are headed by men, right?"

       "Not exactly. In fact, not at all. The president of St Thomas 
       University is a woman and so is the president of The 
       University of St Catherine.              

       "I guess that means I better be twice as good in this job." 

I did wonder what he was thinking as Bishop Lull stepped up into the Cathedral's pulpit to give the sermon that evening. I was so proud of her and of all the women in ministry, regardless of denomination or faith community. 


Later in the week I read the draft of a Social Statement on Women and Justice currently being considered in the ELCA. A long suffering task force has been working on this draft for almost ten years and hope it will be adopted at the 2019 Churchwide Assembly. My first thought as I started to read it was why has it taken so long to recognize the need for this document? My second thought was about its synchronicity as #ME TOO receives such wide attention. 

The draft begins with statements about our common foundation, including

        We believe that God the Holy Spirit is always at work,
        transforming and inspiring new ways of living in this 
        world toward God's promised, beloved, eternal community.

        ...we believe God's intention for humanity is abundant life
        for all.

I was especially moved and inspired by the words I have emphasized in bold: words certainly not just applicable to the Lutheran tradition or Christianity itself. 

Can you imagine anyone not wanting abundant life for all? 

Well, the same day I read the draft of this social statement I read an article in The Washington Post about a Republican candidate, Courtland Sykes, who hopes to unseat Sen. Clair McCaskill (D-MO). I invite you to read the entire article here. Here is a brief excerpt.  

        "I want to come home to a home cooked dinner at
        six every night, one that she fixes and one that I expect
        my daughters learn to fix after they become traditional
        homemakers and family wives...I don't want them to
        grow up into career obsessed banshees who {forgo}
        home life and children and the happiness of family to
        become nail-biting manophobic hell-bent feminist
        she devils."

This sounds like abundant life for Courtland Sykes, but negates women making their own choices, creating their own vision of an abundant life. 

Obviously, there are many factors that constitute an abundant life. And what is important to me, may not be important to you, but I suspect most of us can agree that not everyone has the opportunity to create that abundant life. Seeing women in leadership positions, whether in the church or any other area of life, is a sign of transformational and inspirational new ways of living, of moving towards abundant life for all. 

An Invitation
Where do you see signs of abundant life? What one thing can you do to stand in solidarity with the hope for abundant life for all? I would like to know. 

New Year's Thoughts: Thursday's Reflection

The other day I watched Anne Lamott on a Ted Talk. As always, she was quirky and amusing and wise. Her topic was what she has learned now that she is no longer 47, the age she still imagines herself to be. She is 61, by the way. This is a whole other topic, but what is your "imaginary age"? Mine is somewhere in the 50's, but it doesn't take more than a glance in the mirror to bring me back to reality.

Back to Anne Lamott. She listed things like "All truth is paradox," and "Almost everything will work again if you unplug and restart it, including you." 

One of her truths was about food. "Try to do a little better." I like that approach and since the New Year I have been trying to eat a little better, cook a little better, and to spend more time in the produce department when I grocery shop. 

I haven't made a big sweeping New Year's Resolution to lose x pounds and get into shape. Been there, done that. Instead, my intention is to try to do a little better, and I feel good about that.

It occurs to me that trying to do a little better is a good idea in other areas of life, too. What are the "shoulds" in your life? Do you ever think...

I should go to bed earlier.
I should spend less time on social media.
I should read more and watch less tv.
I should volunteer more in my community and church.
I should entertain more.
I should spend more time with aging parents.
I should get rid of all the clutter in my house.
I should finally start writing the book I say I want to write.
I should organize all my photographs.
I should plan my memorial service. 
I should be a better listener. 

Do any of these fit? What have I missed? 
Well, what would happen if you simply and gently tried to do a little better? I think you might be surprised.

An Invitation
What are the ways you are trying to do a little better? I would love to know. 

The Enchantment of Snow: Tuesday's Reflection

Yes, I know it is an inconvenience. Yes, I know it changes plans and creates delays, and driving in it can be treacherous. And then there is the inevitable shoveling.

But isn't it enchanting? 

That's easy for me to say. I can stay home all day and not venture forth. Our furnace is working, and I am wearing a cozy sweater, but if I need to, I will add a shawl over my shoulders. I have a number of books on deck, including a couple of light English mysteries, my favorite kind of wintry reading, and dinner is appropriate for the day. Homemade mushroom soup. 

I say prayers for those who are not yet home or who need to leave home to go to work that can't be cancelled or to pick up children from school. May all be safe. And then I look out the window again and am almost hypnotized by the white, the mounds forming on bird baths and car roofs, and tree branches. Temporary sculptures. 

I could return to my desk where writing tasks await, and to be fair I spent most of the morning there. I was productive, yes, but I kept glancing out the window for an instant weather report. Yup, still snowing, and a bit more intensely. 

I am enchanted, and Thomas Moore in The Re-Enchantment of Everyday Life says, "Enchantment invites us to pause and be arrested by whatever is before us; instead of our doing something, something is done to us. This is the way of the soul, which is primarily the receptive power in us; by letting ourselves be slowed down and affected by nature, we are fashioned into persons of substance, even if at a more active, conscious level we are forcefully engaged in becoming something else."


It is not a matter of allowing ourselves to be enchanted and asking to be enchanted. Rather, enchantment wraps us in its own mystery. Enchantment catches our breath, and we stop in spite of ourselves. 

Enchantment reminds us that once we were children. Enchantment visited us more often then, but I think now that I am nearly 70, I feel the presence of enchantment more. My agenda does not define the day in the same way. I invite enchantment to divert my busy, bustling mind. 

Today it is the snowstorm that enchants me, but other enchantments await tomorrow and on into the coming months. Spring enchantments of new life and green and growth. Summer enchantments of light and freedom and play. Fall enchantments of oranges and golds and harvest fields. And then winter enchantments again--sweaters and candles and yes, snow. And even white tulips on a wintry day. 



An Invitation
What enchants you? I would love to know. 


           
         

My Book of Quotations: Thursday's Reflection

Don't you love it when you receive the perfect present? There have been many of those in my privileged life, I say with a grateful heart. Some have been gifts of time and some have been special events. Some have been unexpected opportunities or fulfillment of goals or an answer to a prayer, but, of course, many have been a tangible object. 

Thank you, dear friend, who shortly before Advent gave me this small journal. Not only do I love its jewel-like appearance, the shimmering ombre blue tones, but the feel of the paper invites the touch of a fountain pen, which many years ago was another  treasured gift. And, it is a Christian LaCroix of Paris product, so I pretend that I bought it myself in a small and exclusive shop on a Parisian side street. 

At first I didn't know how I wanted to use this journal. I knew I didn't want to use it for To Do lists--how mundane! Nor did I want to use it for my daily journal writing because I would fill it in a week. I wanted to savor this journal. 

Eventually, I decided to use it to store sparkling and special quotations from my reading or wherever I encountered them, for that matter. And that's what I am doing. 

Some days I leaf through the pages just to see what inspires or speaks to me in that moment. 

                     Love wholeheartedly, be surprised,
                     give thanks and praise -- then you 
                     will discover the fullness of your life.
                                 David Steindl-Rast

Some days a quotation I recorded couldn't be more appropriate.

                     Your life begins to end the moment you
                     start being silent about the things that matter.
                                  Martin Luther King, Jr.

Some days I look for a quotation I have saved that might help soothe a troubled soul, as I did the other day in response to an email from a friend. This was the first quotation I recorded in this precious little journal.

                      Come from the edge of darkness
                      Come
                      from the depth of fear
                      and become 
                      the bearer of God.
                                  Jan Richardson

Before I record a new quotation, I reread the last one. 

  Regular periods of solitude, silence,  
  and stillness provide a way to dismantle 
  the dissonance. Contemplative 
  practices provide a way to cut through 
  the static and the noise that lead us 
  away from the voice of God.
                           Phileena Heuerte







I am not compelled to record a quotation every day, but I know the presence of this little book makes me more aware of the wisdom available to me. My only rule, by the way, is to note the date I add the quote to my journal. 

                       1-1-18
                       The soul holds expectations loosely and is not
                       attached to the outcome. The soul takes her
                       time, embraces the slow ripening of things,
                       and savors what is to be learned from the 
                       present.
                                   Christine Valters Paintner

I wonder what wisdom tomorrow will bring, but when it comes I know where to shelter it. 


An Invitation
How do you save and savor the wisdom around you? I would love to know.


    

One More Comment on Last Week's Foul Language: Tuesday's Reflection

I have needed a dose of Obama these last few days.

One of my favorite Christmas presents this year was the coffee table book of photographs of Obama during his presidency. Soon after Christmas I sat in the snug and paged slowly through the book, marveling at his humanity, his handsomeness, his honorable outlook and presence. He wasn't perfect, of course, but I felt proud to have him as our leader. 

Pride in our national leaders is not what I have been feeling lately.

Obviously, I am appalled at our president's language. Is it just me or is the president becoming more self-assured about using such overtly racist language because he knows certain factions will explain, will justify, will shrug their shoulders and say something like "He just says what most Americans think." Really????

Is he becoming more comfortable showing his true colors because he knows he won't be challenged in the moment and because he knows many others in position of power and responsibility will turn off their hearing aids and pretend they didn't hear or don't recall what was said?

I am grateful Senator Richard Durbin (D-Ill) reported to the press  what the president said during a meeting about immigration, and I am grateful to those Republicans who decry what he said, but I want to know how the people in the room reacted the moment the words were uttered.

Philip Kennicott, the art and architecture critic for The Washington Post calls this the "dinner table test," and asks the question what do you do when bigotry is so clearly revealed? Did anybody interrupt and say, "I can't listen to this and either you apologize immediately or I am leaving." ? Did anyone say, "I'm out of here." Did anyone dare to call him on what he said immediately after he said it?

These are times that require courage and integrity. Sometimes it is good to pause in the moment and ask yourself, what is it that needs to be said? What is it I need to do? But sometimes the pause stretches beyond the teachable moment, the moment of authenticity, the moment that could have been better served by a knee jerk reaction. The moment when you feel your chest tighten, your eyes blink, and your jaw drop open. 

When we ground ourselves in the dignity and equality of all people, and if we remember we are all beloved by God, and if we commit ourselves to live as the people God created us to be, we are better able to respond in the moment and to say, "No, that is not right. No, I will not accept what you are saying and what you are doing."  

I know there are times in my life when I have not responded with courage at the moment it was most needed.  Other times, however,   I have listened to my pounding heart and said or done something that needed action right then. I want to be more of that kind of person, and I want our leaders to be that way, too. 

An Invitation
Where have you lived with courage lately? I would love to know.

You can read Philip Kenicott's essay here.

A New Year's Labyrinth: Thursday's Reflection

On Day 9 of this new year I walked a labyrinth.

For our open labyrinth day at church I prepared questions for walkers to use, in order to reflect upon the past year and to enter the new year. 

             What name would you 
             give to your journey of 
             the past year? How would you describe it to your friends

             and family? Is there an image or metaphor that fits?

             What worked for you this past year? What didn't? 

             What needs to change?

             How did the Holy One appear in your life?

             Who were your wise persons? What did they reveal 

             to you? Support you? Influence you?

             Did any of your hopes/dreams become reality?

             What is your greatest need this year?

             Where do you feel resistance? What patterns/habits

             keep you stuck?

             How is your relationship with the Holy One?

             What is at the heart of your new year's prayer?

Those questions could keep me walking and walking and walking and fill a journal or two, also. 

 As I stood at the entrance of the labyrinth, however, I knew I wanted simply to allow the walk to unfold at my feet. I have done a good job preparing for the new year, I think, by attending a daylong retreat, by spending time with my writing group, and reading a wonderful new book, Living Revision by Elizabeth Jarret Andrew. Yes, mainly it is a book about writing, but writing as a spiritual practice and that intersects with how I live my life as a spiritual being. 

I discovered my word of the year, "Devotion," and have spent time writing in my journal about the applications and meaning of that word. I have paid attention to these first days of the new year and how they lead the way into the new year.

I have entered the new year.

My intention as I entered the labyrinth was to open to whatever this walk offered.

As I walked, I paused at each curve. How good it is to pause, something I often forget to do. Pausing doesn't mean stopping, not taking action or moving forward or staying stuck. A pause is just a pause.

I thought about all the curves in my life. By the time one reaches almost 70, life has included lots of curves. Sometimes you can see around the bend, but often not. Sometimes there are hints or signs of an upcoming curve, but often not. Of course, sometimes it is not possible to pause, to give oneself much of a time-out, but instead the entreaty is to take one step at a time and ease around the bend. 

Sometimes curves come in rapid succession, and that is true on the labyrinth, but sometimes there is a long stretch of clear and open  space. 

Pay attention. Stay awake. 

In the center I stood still and straight. There was lots of background noise in the nearby kitchen, but that was ok. I continue to learn how to be still, to listen beneath the external noise and sometimes beneath my own internal noise -- the obsessions, agitations, and preoccupations. I can find stillness, even in the activity, the fullness of life. 

As I walked the path back to the beginning, I gave thanks for the chance to integrate--yet again--the lessons I have been offered at various times of my life. I always feel lighter on the return route. The curves are lovely and no longer surprising as I glide my way round and round. 

                              The New Year

                         Faithful Companion

                         in this new year I pray:

                     to life deeply, with purpose,

                     to live wisely, with humility,

                     to live lovingly, with fidelity,

                     to life gratefully, with generosity,

                     to live freely, with detachment,

                     to live justly, with compassion,

                     to live mindfully, with awareness,

                     to live fully, with enthusiasm.

                  

                     Help me to hold this vision

                     and to daily renew it in my heart,

                     becoming ever more one with you,

                     my truest Self.

                                                Joyce Rupp

An Invitation

What are you learning, hearing, seeing as you enter this new year? I would love to know. 

                      

      

Letting Go: Tuesday's Reflection

Saturday I attended a retreat at Wisdom Ways facilitated by the gifted teacher/writer Karen Hering. How perfect, I thought, to attend a retreat on Epiphany--a day of gifts from wise beings. 

Karen led us through a breathing exercise to simulate how the body feels when it stops clutching and is able to let go. We each know what it means to hold on to something when it no longer serves the person we were created to be, but still we cling to the emotion, the thought, the belief, the habit, the person, the job, the possession. 

As we inhaled we closed our palms tightly into a fist, and then after holding our breath, feeling that tenseness, we exhaled through our mouths. Loudly. And as we exhaled, we opened our palms. 

Such a good feeling. 

During writing time, we each made a list of everything in our life we need to discard.  I've done that before and no doubt you have too. Maybe not formally, but in your head when you snarl to yourself and say, "I wish I wasn't so...." or "Why do I always ...." or when you open an overfilled drawer or closet and admonish yourself to do something about that soon. 

I didn't have trouble making my own list, a boring, often repeated one.

What felt different this time was the next part of the writing prompt. Complete the phrase "letting go now... ." Here's what I wrote:

Letting go now
        I have more space.
        I create spaciousness for all I was created to be, for my own essence.
        I am able to move forward lightly, but at the same time deeply,
honoring myself and being present to the fullness of my life.
        I am lighter.
        I am able to be more present to the movement of God within and around me.
        I feel hope. I feel gratitude. I feel joy.
        I feel possibility. I feel contentment.
        I am able to listen to each Sacred Yes, but also each Sacred No as they appear in my life. 

Trust me, I have not done the complete work of letting go--I cling to far too much--but this exercise helped me envision how letting go feels and for a moment I was in that spaciousness. It is worth moving towards that reality. 

May this new year be one of discovering what is means to let go now. 

An Invitation
What's on your Letting Go list? How would you complete the phrase, letting go now....? I would love to know.                

Happy New Year!: Thursday's Reflection

Happy New Year!

How have you entered 2018? 

Did you enter with all alarms sounding and a long list of January tasks?

In the past, especially in the years before we became empty nesters, I charged into the new year, armed with a new calendar and a notebook with a long TO DO list and goals for the year. And, of course, the resolutions repeated year after year. Lose weight. Exercise more. Eat healthier. 

I was determined to clean every closet and dust every bookshelf, and reorganize every drawer during the month of January. I read all the women's and home decor magazines, eager to glean new tips and hints for living a simpler and yet more gracious life. 

My lists weren't just about cleaning, but I had lists about events to plan and people to see and classes to take. And, of course, topics for potential books and articles.

I am by nature an organized and fairly energetic person and therefore, didn't feel daunted by the length and breadth of my lists, but I didn't leave lots of room for spontaneity or whim. Or relaxation and contemplation (outside of my daily journal writing, of course). 

In recent years I have tried to approach the new year in a different way. More as a continuation of the previous year. 

Yes, putting away the Christmas decorations leads to more extensive cleaning than weekly maintenance. Yes, I think about what worked well for me in the past year (and what didn't), but I also think about what ongoing practices are crucial to my well-being and my spiritual development. Such as my morning meditation time and my active involvement at our church. And my connection to family and friends. And nurturing my love of both writing and reading. None of those items require a To Do list. They are part of my true self. 

Three More Thoughts
1.     In the Foreword to Pilgrimage of a Soul, Contemplative Spirituality for the Active Life by Phileena Heuertz, Phyllis Tickle urges the reader to "enter gently." I love that phrase and feel its call as I enter the new year. I often advise others to be "gentle with yourself," when challenges seem to overwhelm. I can benefit from my own advice.  

2.      Each year I listen for a word to guide me in the coming year. Last year "Sacred Yes, Sacred No" was a guiding light, and I know that needs to be an ongoing mantra for me, but I am adding the word "devotion." This is a time when I need and want to devote myself more--on a deeper, more consistent level--to the writing and revising of my spiritual memoir. But this word applies to other areas of my life, too. In fact, it calls me to open to all life with an attitude of devotion and gratitude and faithfulness.

3.      I consulted The Joy of Ritual by Barbara Bizou when I started planning an open labyrinth day (Gloria Dei Lutheran Church, St Paul, Tuesday, January 9, 1:00-6:00. All are welcome.) and read how the first twelve days of the year can represent the twelve months of the new year.  Approaching these first days in this way  "provides an amazing chance to think about how you want your upcoming year to go. By practicing loving kindness, openness, and generosity, while giving thoughtful attention to the significance of each day, you will consecrate the coming year." 

The year is young, but already I feel renewed hope and an outlook for new growth and healing. 

An Invitation
How have you entered the new year and how do you intend to move through the coming days? I would love to know.