Praying at the End of a Day

 

HELP!

THANKS!

WOW!

You may recognize these three words as the title of one of Anne Lamott's books, Help, Thanks, Wow, The Three Essential Prayers. (I added the exclamation point and all-capital letters.) In her usual snarky and pithy style, Lamott reminds us to be honest in our conversations with God, and to stay aware of the life swirling around and within ourselves. ("When you're telling the truth, you're close to God." p.6)

I think of these three expressions--Help! Thanks! Wow!--as a kind of modern day examen, a spiritual practice created by St Ignatius of Loyola in the 16th century. The examen is a form of daily reflective prayer, an invitation to note the movement of God in the people and the events of a day. 

In other words Help! Thanks! and Wow!

St Ignatius suggested a time of preparation before beginning to pray the examen. Light a candle or take a few deep breaths. My preparation is more apt to be washing my face and brushing my teeth. Doing those simple tasks signals the end of the day. "Time to let go of the day," I tell myself as I look at this 72 year old face in the mirror.

The next step, according to the Ignatian custom, is to review the day with gratitude, but here's where I am more of a Lamottan. In order to get to gratitude, I need to sigh, big, fat, and deep sighs. Those sighs are all the ways I need help and all the ways I see and feel the need for God's presence in the world around me. Help the people of Beirut. Help the men incarcerated unfairly. Help those suffering during this time of pandemic. Help our friends who son recently died and our friends who received a devastating diagnosis. 

What brings me to my knees? Where do I feel the hurt of the world and where do I hurt?

And what am I noticing about myself? What are the many ways I could be more compassionate, loving, and courageous and less judgmental and apathetic? This is a tall order, but it seems to me, help is only a couple consonants away from hope.

              Help. Help us walk through this. 

              Help us come through.

              It is the first great prayer.  p. 15

Once I have shouted a bit, at least inside my head and heart, I am able to give thanks. I begin with the obvious things: the good health of myself and my loved ones, our church community, our ability to live in a lovely home and to be financially comfortable, the friendships and love that sustain me ETC. ETC.  And then I think about the specific reasons to be grateful for the day and what has enhanced my life that day. Spending time with my beloved sister on her birthday, receiving an email from one of my father's dear friends, meeting with my writing group and hearing such wise and helpful feedback, attending a small gathering to celebrate a friend and her new book, writing and reading in my Paris garden often accompanied by a scampering chipmunk, and welcoming our grandson who stops by briefly on his way to baseball camp. What a good day! 

Lamott says, "You breathe in gratitude and you breathe it out, too." p. 60.

When I feel my spirit lift, I am in the midst of a WOW! moment. When I experience an intake of breath outside of the normal in and out of steady breathing, I know I am in the midst of a WOW! moment. When I need to stop for just a second or need to reread a line in the novel in my hands or when I close my eyes to savor a good taste in my mouth or to hear more clearly what is being said, that's WOW! Or when a smile seems too big for my face. 

Saturday while cleaning bathrooms, I listened to the first episode of The Michelle Obama Podcast (on Spotify--get the free app.) in which Barak is the guest. Listening to them was like standing in the kitchen with them. I imagined Michelle putting together a salad, and he was opening a bottle of wine or getting beer out of the refrigerator. I had volunteered to set the table and kept opening drawers till I found the flatware and napkins. You know, one of those comfortable, at ease kind of times. We were all just talking about what is important to us and how we got to this point in our lives. And at the end of the podcast she says "Love you," and he says, "Love you, too," and I said, "Wow!"

The last step in the examen is to pray for tomorrow, and I think that is exactly what the wow moment does. If I can feel a wow, then I know I am ready for tomorrow. I know I will enter the next day with an open and uplifted heart--with plenty of room for God. 

Lamott's book was published in 2012, but as I reread it, I thought how not a word needs to be changed for today. We've always needed help, and there are always reasons to give thanks. and oh yes, moments of wonder and amazement and bubbles of joy are never far away. 

Perhaps this is the only spiritual practice we need: Help! Thanks! Wow!

An Invitation: What will you include in your examen today? I would love to know. 

Thursday's Reflection: Ending the Day

Putting the House to Bed

My mother often said as she got older it took her longer and longer to get ready for bed. She had lovely skin and took good care of it, but that caretaking involved more and more products and steps with each year. She followed her end of the day routine faithfully, however, and she looked younger than her years, which was important to her. 

My father, who is 91, reads two pages of Luther's Catechism http://bookofconcord.org/lc-1-intro.php every night. Recently, he has started reading them out loud to himself. I have no idea how many times he has completed the book--how pleased Martin Luther would be--but he says he learns and absorbs something new each time. 

I like turning on the nightstand lamp before the bedroom is engulfed in darkness, but I delay lowering the blinds till just before going to bed. Winter nights I get into pajamas and robe and slippers soon after supper, preparing myself for an evening of cozy reading or watching television. Then when sleeps begins to overcome me, I am ready for bed. I may read a bit more in bed, but more often these days once I am in bed I close my eyes and say my final prayers of the day.

What signals your end of the day? Do you have a routine that leads you to bedtime and a night's rest? Are there tasks that are part of bringing the day to its conclusion? What brings you comfort at the end of the day? 

Benjamin Franklin started his day by asking himself, "What good shall I do this day?" and ended it with the follow-up question, "What good have I done today?" 

Just imagine what could happen in our world if we each held those two questions within our hearts and acted upon them each day? Joyce Rupp http://www.joycerupp.com in her book The Cup of Our Life, A Guide for Spiritual Growth suggests we "wrap the day with the ribbon of prayer," using the following questions as a guide:
       1. How open or aware was I to the presence of God in my 
           day?
       2. What kind of nourishment did I receive?
           What kind of nourishment did I give?
       3. Does anything need to be emptied out in order for me to be
           at peace tonight?
       4. For what do I thank God as I prepare to enter into sleep?
                                                                  pages 17-18

The theological term for looking back over the day is called "examen," which is identifiable with an examination, but without the academic context. Richard J. Foster in his classic Prayer, Finding the Heart's True Home, http://richardjfoster.com/books/ says an examen is an "accurate assessment of the true situation." (p, 27) 

One of the values of developing the practice of examen is to become more aware, more awake as we move through our days from the beginning to the end when our head hits the pillow. Along with noticing the extraordinary in the ordinary, knowing that the examen part of the day is approaching, we are encouraged to remember, to hold onto what has touched us during the day. The process and gift of remembering the present is a valuable practice as we get older and tend to focus more on the past. 

Do we notice the flock of geese overhead? Do we enjoy the young child in the grocery cart ahead of us who tries to get our attention? How present are we to the neighbor on our sidewalk as we unload our groceries? What does the air feel like as we bring in the mail?  Do the leaves appear less green and more gold and red today? 

Who needs our touch today? Our voice? Our thoughts and prayers? 

Foster points out that using the examen, and there are many forms with varying questions to use in your private examination, http://www.ignatianspirituality.com/ignatian-prayer/the-examen/ is a way to go deeper within to your true self, using the outward experiences of the day. That may sound very self-absorbed, but Foster says, "No, it is not a journey into ourselves that we are undertaking but a journey through ourselves so that we can emerge from the deepest level of the self into God. As Saint John Chrysostom notes, 'Find the door of your heart, you will discover it is the door of the kingdom of God.'" (p. 32) 

Here's what Thich Nhat Hanh http://plumvillage.org/about/thich-nhat-hanh/ says in Present Moment, Wonderful Mment, Mindfulness Verses for Daily Living, "We can begin practice beginning anew at any moment of our lives…When we look deeply, we see that beginning anew is possible at any time of our daily lives, at any age." (p. 110)

He opens his meditation on ending the day this way:
          
          The day is ending,
          our life is one day shorter.
          Let us look carefully
          at what we have done.
          Let us practice diligently,
          putting our whole heart into the path of meditation.
          Let us live deeply each moment in freedom,
          so time does not slip away meaninglessly. 

One of my favorite end of the day prayers is from Illuminata, A Return to Prayer by Marianne Williamson: http://www.marianne.com
     
         Dear God,,
         I surrender to You the day now over.
         May only the love remain.
         Take all else into the fire of Your transformative power.
         Release me, release others from any effects of my
              wrongmindedness or wrongdoing.
         Dear God,
         Return me to Your light.
         As I now give to You who I am, what I did, who I loved, 
               who I failed to love, please make all things right.
         Take all things.
         May I continue to grow in Your light and love.
         Tomorrow my I be better.
         Amen. 

My post last Thursday, "Beginning the Day", offered possibilities for starting the day with a practice of prayer. May I suggest doing the same at the end of the day, creating spiritual bookends for your day. 


An Invitation
What is your night time settling in routine? Does it include a looking back, a letting go, and a moving forward? I would love to know.