Thursday's Reflection: Fall Energy

Fall Mums in the Neighborhood

A sunny and cool day. Perfect. I have been on a morning walk and have showered and dressed for the day and am now at my desk in the garret. Cool air is drifting through the windows, and I am actually considering putting on a sweater, a novel thought after several days of harsh humidity matched with summer heat. I think I will just enjoy the sensation of being mildly chilled. 

What I am really feeling, more than the change of temperature, is a change in my energy. I am experiencing Fall Energy. Does this happen to you? Do you feel renewed energy as fall approaches? 

Feeling more alive and more responsive to life in the fall is one of the patterns in my life, one I have recognized since I was a child, I think. That increased energy begins building towards the end of summer with the appearance of school supplies and decisions about notebooks and pens for the new school year. 

The other day I helped a neighbor who heads a volunteer project supplying backpacks and schools supplies for children in need. As I filled each new backpack with the donated supplies, I thought about the student who would receive this gift, and I offered a blessing for his or her safety in the coming school year. I also prayed this child would begin the year with eagerness and energy to learn and that this year would be one of positive growth and reinforcement. That's a lot to ask when you think about the struggles so many children face daily, but perhaps the new backpack and notebooks and paper and pencils and pens will be an encouragement for some to do the best they can. May it be so. 

I no longer need new notebooks. Truth be told, I have a large drawer full of journals and pads of paper. I don't need a backpack either, for I have many bags large enough to carry my laptop and books when I decide to leave the garret and write someplace else. I  am not heading back to school as student or teacher, but I do have that same energy of anticipation, of beginning again, of eagerness, of fresh opportunity, another chance. The question is one of direction--how to use that renewed energy.

In many ways I have been on an unchosen sabbatical these last months as I have recovered from a broken ankle. Even though I still walk with uneven steps and somedays I shuffle more than others, I am finally feeling more energized. I am able to do more in a day than I have for a long time and by that I mean I am able to do the basic stuff of life--laundry and grocery shopping, meal preparation and cleaning, as well as enjoy time with family and friends. That doesn't mean I am not tired by the end of the day--I am and I don't have much energy for evening activities. Is that my age? The ongoing recovery process? Or am I not pushing myself enough, not reaching for the reserves which may be there, but hidden? Who knows, but I know fall energy seems to be returning.

Sarah Ban Breathnach in her book Simple Abundance, A Daybook of Comfort and Joy http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/3495853.Sarah_Ban_Breathnach writes about this kind of fall energy.
     
      It seems to me that January resolutions are about will;
      September resolutions are about authentic wants. What 
      do you want more or less of in your life, so that you can
      love the life you are leading? It could be as simple as 
      seeing friends more often, setting aside time to have
      adventures with your children while they still want
      your companionship, rekindling romance in your daily
      round, calling a solitary hour a day your own, or just
      taking more walks in the dazzling sunshine.
          The beauty of autumnal resolutions is that no one
      else knows we're making them. Autumnal resolutions
      don't require horns, confetti, and champagne. September
      resolutions ask only that we be open to positive change. 
      I can try to do that. So can you.  (entry for September 1)

These last few days I have spent more time at my desk writing, working on pieces to submit for publication, and I have signed up for an online class  called "Your Book Starts Here, How to Plan, Write and Develop a Book" though The Loft Literary Center. https://www.loft.org I hope the course will help me move forward on a big writing project. I plan to participate as well in a Monday evening course at Wisdom Ways http://www.wisdomwayscenter.org in which we will discuss the new book by Elizabeth Johnson, Ask the Beasts, Darwin and the God of Love. http://www.fordham.edu/campus_resources/enewsroom/inside_fordham/march_24_2014/in_focus_faculty_and/on_darwin_and_religi_94782.asp I know there will be volunteer opportunities at the grandkids' schools and at the church we plan to join, and there will be childcare and some travel and more friend and family time. All good stuff. 

Not long ago when I sweltered my way through the day, all the choices felt overwhelming to me, but today with the return of fall energy the choices and possibilities feel delicious. I think I will put on a sweater.  

An Invitation
What are the choices and possibilities in front of you this fall? What will you do with your fall energy? If this is not a time of renewed energy for you, how can you best nurture and care for yourself? I would love to know.  

Living, Not Visiting, a Post by Nancy L. Agnebe

  
I bought an ironing board and iron for our apartment. 





I arranged for Internet here, too.

The bookshelf is becoming full. 











     I guess we live here and don't just visit here. More and more I realize my life is here as well as in Madison. In the recent past having an apartment here felt like a transition, a symbol of moving eventually, post Bruce's retirement, from Madison to St. Paul. An interim place while we attempt to sell our house and before we buy a house in St Paul. We would dash in for the weekend, clothes on hangars (No need for an iron!), and our dance card full of events and dates with friends and family. The grandkids would be excited to see us, and the two days would feel like a mini-vacation. 
     Gradually, there has been a shift, a feeling of being at home. A sense of normalcy. I have a full set of make-up and skin and haircut products here. We each have slippers and a robe in our closets. There is Diet Coke and wine in the refrigerator (and not much else) and bagels in the freezer. The shift, however, became more apparent over the weeks I spent here before and after Dad's surgery. I am aware that I will be here more frequently as we help Dad make the transition into senior living and then ready his house for sale, but the shift from visiting to living here is not just about amount of time spent here.  That is a factor for sure, but the shift is more about living fully right now. Living life fully and not just being a visitor in my own life. 
     As part of a new writing project I have been re-reading the journals I kept when we moved from Minnesota to Shaker Heights, Ohio, in 1994. A major change for us all, and while it was our choice, responding to an exciting career opportunity for Bruce, it was not without difficulties. Soon after we moved there, I experienced some unexplainable leg pain. My right leg ached for weeks until I invited myself to meditate about the pain. During the meditation I saw myself facing north with one leg stretched across Ohio and Illinois and Wisconsin and reaching into Minnesota. Home. The other was tenuously perched in Ohio. Uncomfortable to say the least. What I needed to do was pull my right leg into Ohio. I needed to plant myself in Ohio, and until I did, I could not have much of a life there. With that realization my leg pain disappeared, and I opened to a new stage in my life. 
     This transition is different. It is true that I think longingly about living in St Paul full-time, and I admit to a number of plans for my St Paul life. I would love to start a small spiritual direction practice here--just a few clients. I think about starting a contemplative writing group, my own version of Miriam Hall's gifted writing groups in Madison. I think about volunteer opportunities, perhaps doing life review or journal writing in senior living facilities. I have registered to take a class at The Loft Literary Center this summer and look forward to more involvement there. The list is growing. However, I want to be clear. My life in Madison will continue to grow and satisfy. For example, I intend to start a contemplative retirement circle in Madison in the fall, and wherever I am, I will write. Wherever I am, I will connect with friends and family. Wherever I am, I intend to be open to life in that time and place. 
      Once again the lesson, the hope, is to Live Now. Live in the Present. Live in the Moment. Wherever you are. 

In what ways is life offering you the opportunity to Live Now?