Thoughts and Prayers: Tuesday's Reflection

Thank you, everyone who has said or written, "You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers," when they heard about our daughter's and our granddaughter's recent surgeries. (See January 16 post. I think even the family dog, Walter, is sending thoughts and prayers! 

Many years ago I read an article by the author of Walking the Bible, Bruce Feiler, in which he gave advice about what to say or not to say to someone with health challenges or experiencing loss. I agreed with most of what he said, except for what he said about the sentiment, "My thoughts and prayers are with you."

            In my experience, some people think about you,

            which is nice. Others pray for you, which is 

            equally comforting. But the majority of people

            who say they're sending "thoughts and prayer" are

            just falling back on a mindless cliche. It's time to

            retire this hackneyed expression to the final resting

            place of platitudes, alongside,"I'm stepping down to

            spend more time with my family," or "It's not you, it's

            me." 

I don't agree.

When I say or write  "My thoughts and prayers are with you," I am thinking about that person, praying for that person right then, in that present moment. Saying it, writing it, is praying. 

That counts.

That matters.

Isn't it a bit presumptuous to assume that people who offer those words don't actually do what they say they will do?

True, many people may never give you another thought and may not have an intentional prayer practice where they lift your name to the Divine, but I believe when someone thinks of me anytime in a loving, empathic, caring way, they are praying on my behalf. 

When someone I know is in the midst of a crisis, thoughts of them drift across my heart while I'm making the bed, folding laundry or driving to the grocery store, as well as times I am writing them a note or preparing a meal to deliver. Those are moments of prayer, even though I may not stop and fold my hands and say, Dear God, please..."

At the same time, however, I invite you to pay attention to the times when you make the "thoughts and prayers" statement. What are you feeling in that moment? Do you truly mean what you say? 

I think when you make that statement, you are entering into a covenant with the person in need of prayers and thoughts, and also with the Divine. You've said it. Now do it. Follow through. Be intentional. Set aside time. Pause. Close your eyes and breathe. See your loved one's face. Say her name. Open your heart and be with her. 

Thanks again, for your thoughts and prayer. Both of my sweet girls are making progress, and healing is underway. 

An Invitation

When was the last time you said, "My thoughts and prayers are with you."? What did your own words lead you to do? I would love to know. 

NOTES:
I've discovered that many of you have not been able to add a comment to a post. In fact, I haven't been able to reply to comments that have been successfully posted. Apparently, this is not just a problem for my blog, but many others, as well. I have been told the problem is being addressed. We'll see! In the meantime, my apologies and my thanks for reading my blog.

I adapted this post from one I wrote many years earlier for my first blog, "Sacred Sixties."