I spent an entire afternoon reading in the snug. And I am not embarrassed to admit that. Proclaim it even.
Tuesday morning I had a routine colonoscopy, one of those grown-up necessities. I was home earlier than anticipated and in spite of being hungry and somewhat weary, I felt fine. I could have returned to my garret desk, but I didn't.
Instead, I grabbed the book I was currently reading and settled into the snug. Feet up on the ottoman, I nestled under a blanket, and I read the entire afternoon.
At first I felt self-indulgent, but I decided I deserved this recovery time, even though I felt no side effects from the procedure or its preparation. I think of myself as a productive person, the one who works steadily through "to do" lists, and wasn't it time to move into meat of the week? But I didn't. I could have taken a brief nap and then gone up the garret stairs to begin working on the next chapter of my memoir, but I didn't.
I relaxed and read page after page after page until with a satisfied sigh, read the last page. Oh, how good that felt.
Not self-indulgent.
Not selfish or wimpy or self-centered.
I did feel privileged, however. I could make this choice. This is a time of life when I can decide how to use my time. How to live my days. I am grateful I can choose from so many meaningful activities and interactions. I can even choose to take a time out.
The next morning meditating and then writing in my journal, I anticipated the day opening before me. The day would be one of tasks, of attention to call, as well as self-care. Tasks would include changing the bed, cleaning the bathroom, and ironing. I would write my next reflection for this blog and also begin to sketch out thoughts for the next chapter in my memoir --both are examples of what I feel called to do in this time of my life. And I would care for myself by going to a dental appointment, even walking there, and later fixing a healthy evening meal, plus spending time with our grandson after school.
Tasks.
Call.
Care.
Somedays are more one thing than another. Some days are all three. My afternoon in the snug was all about care.
I love my life.
An Invitation
What are the tasks in your life? In what ways are you responding to a call in your life? How are you caring for yourself. I would love to know.
NOTE: The book I devoured in the snug wasThe Female Persuasion by Meg Wolitzer. Loved it! I have also really enjoyed other books by Wolitzer, including The Interestings and The Wife.
Reading away the afternoon - especially after a colonoscopy - is not self-indulgent at all! A very important part of self-care, I agree. I am going to look up that Meg Wolitzer book; have not read that one. Speaking of self-care and chores, I am getting off my laptop now and going to do my yoga and meditation/prayer, then get in the shower, then head out to run a couple of errands.
ReplyDeleteI love this time of my life, too (I am 55) where I can make choices about what I do during the day. I left my government job in late 2012 due to stress. It was only 3 days/week, but felt twice that. My husband sometimes hints about me finding another PT job, but that makes me panic. I have terrible anxiety and can't take any extra stress, plus I have herniated disks in my lower back and so my back is in a lot of pain most days. So standing is out of the question and even sitting for hours is also out of the question. I have to have a mixture of both, and moving around a lot.
I am sorry you are plagued by anxiety and physical issues, but it also seems you are doing what you can to enhance your life and take care of yourself.
DeleteThe Meg W book, by the way, is brand new, and I had pre-ordered it from the library. Just before The Female Persuasion I read an earlier book of hers The Wife, which was good, too, but at times felt over-written, I thought. I loved her book The Interestings, too.
Such a mindful and wonderful "Sacred Yes" choice. No sitting here on the porch for us, by the way. We are in the midst of a major snowstorm. No worries--I have plenty of books!
ReplyDelete