Summer Spirituality: Thursday's Reflection

Memorial Day weekend signals the start of summer. True, summer officially begins June 20, but try telling that to the thousands of Minnesotans who trek to "the lake" this weekend. Summer can be short here in the upper Midwest, and each day of warmth and sunshine is treasured. 

I'm more of a winter person myself, but that is the topic for another time. Right now I am thinking about the satisfactions of summer:
* Walking out the front door without bundling up, without adding all those extra layers.
* Enjoying Bruce's garden magic of color and every shade of green.
* Riding in Bruce's little car with the top down. Even basic errands feel more fun in that car.
* Eating the summer foods--corn on the cob and other fresh fruit and vegetables from the Farmers' Market.
* Exploring from the seat of my new bike.


What's on your list?

I feel a shift in the summer and invite myself to experience the spirituality of summer. 

Summer Spontaneity. Summer invites me to listen to what calls me right now. What is it I most want to do right now? Read a book in our sanctuary garden? Get an ice cream cone? Walk in the evening to night time dusk? Drive an unfamiliar street? Call a friend and say, "Let's meet for lunch. Are you free?" Go to a movie on a hot, muggy afternoon or decide at the last minute to go to a concert in the park. Summer spontaneity invites me to let go of my list and calendar and follow the whim of the moment.  

Summer Stillness. Summer invites me to stop and enjoy the wonders of a June, July, August world. To listen to the birds in the morning. To sit by one of our many lakes and see beneath the surface. To walk a labyrinth, becoming more quiet with each step and more attuned to the voice within. To nap in a lawn chair. To remember summers of the past and to be grateful for this specific summer. 

Summer Silliness. Similar, perhaps to Summer Spontaneity, but summer seems to require and open us to a double dose of fun. Last summer we declared one day to be "Donut Day." Two of our dear friends willingly joined us and we enjoyed donuts in several bakeries. Laughing our way to a sugar high. (Read post here.) Such fun. What will it be this year? Stay tuned. 

Your summer spirituality may include summer spaciousness or sacredness or simplicity or a summer sabbatical. Whatever summer opens for you, may it be safe and may it be sweet.

An Invitation
What does summer summon for you? I would love to know. 

You may enjoy reading another post I wrote about Memorial Day. Read post here.

Shadow and Light: Tuesday's Reflection

As I unloaded several bags into the back of my car after a big Target run, I noticed my shadow following my every move. The day was gloriously sunny, one of those perfect mild summer days; a day to celebrate with its crystal clear skies and a sun worthy of an elementary school drawing. And yet, there was my shadow, a reminder of the darkness in the light.

Shadow and light. Both in my presence at the same moment.

Where there is light, there is shadow, and where there is shadow, there is also light. 

In a recent spiritual direction session, my client comforted herself with her ability to be strong even in the midst of a current difficult situation. She is strong, emotionally and spiritually and physically, and I admire how she handles what would cause many to curl up under the covers and ignore all methods of communication. Her ongoing strength serves her well and should not be discounted, but I suggested she think about the shadow side of her strength. That was a new thought for her.

In her next session, she talked a bit about the stoicism of strength and how sometimes being strong gets in the way of being realistic or of allowing others to assist you. With the recognition of the shadow side, comes the ability to adjust and also, the possibility for transformation. Light. 

When we are in the midst of chaos or grief or unexpected turbulence, someone is bound to remind us to be positive and "look on the bright side," and I am not opposed to that. Without meaning to sound like a Pollyanna, I do believe there is light, however teeny, tiny it might be, in everything. Yes, everything. It may be a kind word. It may be recognition of some strength or acceptance or tolerance inside yourself you had not known lived quietly within you. It may be a lesser degree of something you anticipated to be much worse. It may be self-growth or an unexpected path leading to greater pleasure or love or success or knowledge. The light can take many forms. 

When in the midst of light, however, we are less inclined to intentionally look for the shadow. Wouldn't that be pessimistic or negative? Why court the dark side? Why jinx what is going smoothly with a more somber view? 

I think knowing both the shadow and the light side of a situation or of an aspect of yourself is a pathway to greater depth, to wholeness, and is a necessary way to care for your soul. 

I know for instance that most of the time my ability to be organized and efficient brings me light and often shines light for others, but sometimes there is a shadow side to that ability. Sometimes being organized gets in the way of being present to the beauty in front of me or to the needs or opportunities of right now. Sometimes being efficient interferes with joy or fun and spontaneity. In these cases I want shadow to be my teacher. 

I am an introvert. To extroverts it may be hard to see the light in that characteristic, but I know the delight and benefits of quiet time, of silence, of reflection, of the independence and ease of being by myself and knowing my own good company. However, I also am aware of the shadow side of introversion. Sometimes I just plain miss out on connection or exploration, because I need to recharge my energy by being alone. Knowing what I need, however, is part of caring for the soul, of understanding my essence complete with shadow and light. 

Joan Chittister http://joanchittister.org in her book The Gift of Years, Growing Older Gracefully, which I quote in this blog frequently, refers to burdens and blessings. For example, in the chapter on "adjustment," she writes, 

         A burden of these years is that we must consciously

         decide how we will live, what kind of person we will

         become now, what kind of personality and spirituality

         we will bring into every group, how alive we intend to 

         be.

          

         A blessing of these years is being able to live so open-

         heartedly, and to adjust so well, that others can look to

         us and see what being old can bring in terms of life, of

         holiness, of goodness to make the world new again. 

                                                                    p. 65

Sometimes the burden and the blessing, or the shadow and the light can seem quite similar, the boundaries blur. Acknowledging that both shadow and light lives within us and on our human journey, can lead us each to greater care of the soul on our quest for wholeness. 

Remember Peter Pan who felt incomplete when he lost his shadow? Wendy sewed it back on, and he felt restored and more himself. We need our shadow, just as much as we need the light. 

         Care of the soul is not solving the puzzle of life;

         quite the opposite, it is an appreciation of the

         paradoxical mysteries that blend light and darkness 

         into the grandeur of what human life and culture can

         be. 

                        Care of the Soul,

                        A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness

                        in Everyday Life, p. xix

                        Thomas Moore
                        http://careofthesoul.net 

An Invitation
How is shadow and light currently interacting in your life? I would love to know.  

                        

Tuesday's Reflection: Recognizing The Themes of Your Life

Hops Growing at the Schell Brewery, New Ulm, Minnesota

This past weekend my husband Bruce and I did one of the things we do best together. We wandered. I browsed through a Minnesota travel guide to decide the direction we would take, and he opened the plat book for Minnesota. We got in his sweet little Mazda Miata with the top down and took off for the day. Our general direction was southwest of St Paul, an area called the Minnesota River Valley. 

As we ambled we met fields of soybeans and corn and numerous detours, but when you don't have an agenda, every detour becomes an adventure, an opening for your imagination, and potential insights into our country's history.  Every gravel road divided by tall corn on either side seemed to lead to a thick grove of trees with a silo peeking over the top. You know there is an understated farmhouse, most likely white, perhaps with a wide front porch, at the end of that road. You wonder who lives there and what it would be like to live there yourself. We drove down main streets of small towns, very small towns, where even though it was a Saturday afternoon, the only cars in sight were at the local Dairy Queen. We stopped there, too, for no matter how good the homemade ice cream is at Grand Ole Creamery and no matter how many exotic flavors one can sample at our local delicious (and expensive) Izzy's, sometimes you just want a Dairy Queen Blizzard or hot fudge sundae. 

Small Town America
Some towns have done an amazing job of preserving their downtowns, responding to current needs, but maintaining the architectural beauty of small town American life in the early 1900's. Some towns have created a niche for themselves with clusters of antique shops or have built on their immigrant heritage, such as New Ulm with its German legacy.  Others, however, are tired and worn out, and one wonders when there will be just one last person to lock the door. 

As we drove along, I consulted the guidebook and read about each location, such as New Ulm's August Schell Brewery, the second oldest family-owned brewery in the United States, or the W.W. Mayo House in Le Sueur, and yes, that is the Mayo who was one of the founders of the famous Mayo Clinic in Rochester. I read about the sad days of the Dakota Conflict of 1862 in which, as a result of ongoing violations of treaties with the Dakota nation, immigrant farmers and Native Americans lost their lives. Eventually, the Dakota were moved to North and South Dakota and Minnesota reservations were abolished. We had no idea we would encounter this deplorable part of our history when we set off on that hazy morning for a day of unscheduled ease. 

The Pleasures of Meandering
We always know, however, when we decide to roam that we will encounter surprises and memorable sites. We know choosing right instead of left or left instead of right will take us someplace we have never been before or maybe, just where we wanted to go. As long as we have the plat book (Nope, we don't have a GPS, for that annoying voice's intention is to keep us on some predetermined itinerary.) we won't be lost, and as long as we have enough energy and enough gas, we can follow the road ahead. We do this well and that has been one of the pleasures of our years together, a pattern and a theme in our life. 

Sometimes a day of meandering means meeting your past. I met part of mine as we wandered that day in Mankato. My family lived there for one year when I was in the sixth grade. We moved there from a suburb of Minneapolis when Dad, who was working for Mobil, was transferred there. Soon he was transferred to Mobil's headquarters in New York, and off we went, but it is a year I remember fondly. As I think about it now, that was a year of great growth and independence for me, as it often is for an 11 to 12 year old. 

Going Down Memory Lane
Before our day of wandering, I had only been back to Mankato once since we moved away and that was when our daughter was in high school, and I drove her and a friend to a high school music festival at Mankato State University. Needless to say, there have been many changes since I rode my bike downtown to the old Carnegie Library or the city pool. Bruce wondered if I could find our house, and all I could recall was going up a big hill and at the top was our small residential area and lots of open, undeveloped fields. I let my nose and my heart direct us to that hill, which is now home to many university buildings and apartment complexes. First, I saw a park and knew that was where I had gone ice skating every Friday evening in the winter. I was allowed to walk home with friends when it closed at 9:00. I knew we were headed in the right direction, but, of course, it all looked so different. When I saw the street sign, Birchwood, however, I knew we were close. I called my Dad, knowing he would remember the name of the street we lived on, but before he could return my call, I had one of those flash memories, 107 Birchwood, and we found the house. 

Bruce generously let me go down memory lane, finding the elementary school, which was brand new the year we lived there, and listened to my stories from that year--stories he has heard more than once, poor guy. I liked living there, and I think I would have been happy to have lived there more years than that one. 

Our move to New York was followed by other moves, leading us eventually to move back to Minnesota the spring of my junior year in high school. I have been the "new girl" many times. That theme continued into married life. I thought marrying someone who was going to be a physician would mean settling down in one place, someplace like Mankato, for example, and not moving again, but we have moved more times that I could have predicted. 

Exploring Life's Patterns and Themes
Moving has been a pattern, a theme, in my life. At this stage of my life I find myself exploring that theme, that pattern. I wonder how moving so often has shaped me and how I might have been different if I had graduated from Mankato High School, for example, instead of attending 4 additional schools after we moved away from Mankato. 

I think about both the shadow and the light of being a person always ready to move. I know how to move, and I do it well. I enjoy the settling in process -- creating my loop of life and discovering the uniqueness of each new place. I like being a tourist as we become acquainted with our new home, our home for as long as we are there. I like making our new location our home. That's the light. The shadow, however, has been loneliness  or weariness with starting over again. At times I rely too much on my own resources, choosing solitude over outreach. That is a pattern and a theme in my life, too. 

This is a time of our life when we are old enough to look back and recognize patterns and themes in our life and their meaning and effects on our development, character, and behavior. We can choose to do that as a bit of nostalgia, sharing stories and snapshots from our life or we can choose to go deeper, examining the spiritual lessons we have learned as patterns have been repeated and the theme has been refined. 

Questions For Exploration
Is there something we are being asked to learn when another loop or twist is added to the ongoing pattern, but we have not yet learned? Are we willing to ask ourselves hard questions about why something in our life seems to repeat itself? Are there patterns that need to broken? I think about the adage, "If we do what we have always done, we get what we have always gotten." Are we content with the result of doing what we have always done? 

Can we identify both the shadow and the light in an honest way? Is there an unhealthy pattern that would like to find the end of the road, but needs your assistance to make that happen? What is within that is waiting to be born or changed or dissolved? What needs to be healed?

Finding Guidance
I wish I could easily identify a chapter called "The Patterns and Themes of One's Life," in one of my hundreds of spirituality books but at the moment I think I am writing that chapter for myself. However, Joan Chittister http://www.benetvision.org in her book The Gift of Years, Growing Older Gracefully offers some guidance in the chapter, "Memories." 

    Memory is not about what went on in the past. It is about
    what is going on inside of us right at this moment…It is
    made up of the stuff of life in the process of becoming the
    grist of the soul. p. 154

    Memory is many things. It is a call to resolve in us what
    simply will not go away. It is an invitation to delight in
    what is gone but is, too, the gold standard of our lives. It
    is a desire for completion, for continuance of something
    we once had but lost too soon. It is always an opportunity
    for healing. It preserves for us what must be faced and
    wrestled to the ground of the soul before the soul is free
    to fly. Without memory we could go blithely on in life
    without ever really knowing what of that life was still
    unfinished, was still rumbling around inside of us, waiting
    for attention. p. 155

    Because of memory life is not simply one isolated act
    after another. It all fits into the image of the self and 
    the goals of the heart. It makes them real. It makes them
    whole. p. 155

Memories can be a tool to clarify the patterns and themes in our life. Our experiences and our memories of them can help uncover the bigger picture of our life, the shadow and the light, and lead us to healing and wholeness. Now is the time. 

Who knew when we sit out in our little car on Saturday morning to find the open road what we would see and discover? I came home not only with memories of a relaxing and special summer day, but also touches of memories of the past and deeper recognition of the patterns and theme in my life. I am so grateful. 

An Invitation
What are the patterns and themes in your life? What are they asking you to recognize and in what ways are they asking for your response? I would love to know.  

Tuesday's Reflection: Growing Older and One's Purpose

A Stress-Free View

My ears perked up when I heard a story on NPR's Morning Edition yesterday morning, "People Who Feel They Have a Purpose in Life Live Longer."
 http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/07/28/334447274/people-who-feel-they-have-a-purpose-in-life-live-longer  The story cited a study by Patrick Hill of Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada, which says having a purpose in life, defined by Hill as a "compass or lighthouse that provides an overarching aim and direction in day-to-day lives," may protect against the harmful effects of stress. My first thought was sure, that makes sense, as long as fulfilling the purpose doesn't cause more stress.

A common question when one retires these days seems to be "What are you going to do now?" My father, who is almost 91 and only fully retired for a few years, can't imagine someone intentionally retiring. He asks me with great concern, "What will Bruce do with himself?" Well, give the man a chance to find out! Besides, I wonder, is "doing" something the same thing as having a purpose? 

I know many people wait for retirement in order to do something --to spend more time working for a cause or to return to an interest that was set aside in favor of raising and providing for a family, such as painting or woodworking, or others have passports ready and are eager to visit all the places of their dreams. Many are eager for more time with grandchildren. Do those plans count as purpose? Is a passion the same as purpose? If I want to spend the day sitting in our garden reading a mystery, am I without purpose? Must I be purpose-full in order to live longer? 

Spirituality and Purpose
It seems to me the purpose of this stage of life is a spiritual one. 
Whatever we decide to do with whatever years we have in these elder years is almost beside the point.  The point is that there is purpose in aging itself. This is a time of assimilation of all the other stages of our life. This is a time to shed the layers of acquisition and ambition, of denial and delay, of illusion and image. This is a time to remember how God lives in us and we in God. 

This morning I started reading a book called A Season of Mystery, 10 Spiritual Practices for Embracing A Happier Second Half of Life by Paula Huston. There is wisdom here.
    
    …old age is the most challenging stage of life we face. We
    must be able to tap into all the wonderment of childhood, 
    the hope of young love, the patience of parenthood, and
    the determination of middle age if we are not to be defeated
    by it.Yet it is calling us to be better people than we've ever
    been, while at the same time, it is diminishing our capacities
    for serious effort. p.xi

Huston acknowledges that our culture mythologizes the aging process. Look young. Feel young. Be young. It doesn't take long to discover that aging can be the worst of times. However, when we become realistic about the inevitability of aging for as long as we live, that is, and also realistic about the promise that we will die, it can also be the best of times. Huston talks about living an "admirable" life or "what we might become if only we had enough courage and faith," and that seems about as good a purpose as one can live. "It is the difficult, admirable life that calls out of us what is highest and best and most satisfying." 

I know there are areas of my life that need cleansing. Areas where I need to forget and clear the space; inner work waiting for my attention and intention. Along the way, I hope to still do some good for others, to use my gifts, and to contribute in some way, but I suspect doing will be a by-product of the being I am learning how to accept and understand. 

Risk of Death
Back to the report on NPR. The report said the study showed a "15 percent lower risk of death" in those who had purpose compared to those who said they were "more or less aimless." Oh, how we would like to believe that. The lines forming to proclaim one's purpose would go around the block, but you know and I know, we all know, there is a 100% risk of death. Purpose or no purpose, we will each die. Let's just be clear about that. 

What is the Purpose of This Time?

Now is the time to stop and reflect.
Now is the time to reach inward and touch our essence.
Now is the time to strip away the many faces of the roles we have  played, and recognize who we really are.
Now is the time to understand that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
Now is the time to understand that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
Now is the time to perceive our spiritual dimension--the strong, silent presence of our spirit.
Now is the time to reflect on our lives and recognize the strength of spirt that has been there.
Now is the time to acknowledge that our purpose on this earth is a spiritual one, and was determined before we came here. 
Now is the time to listen to the daily inner whisperings of our spirit.
Now is the time to find out who God is for us now.
Now is the time to mourn our past and embrace the promises of the future.
Now is the time to revisit our retirement dreams and make them come true.
Now is the time to look deep within ourselves and refocus our energies on the goals that are most important to us.
Now is the time to love and appreciate ourselves and others in a new light.
Now is the time to look back over our lives and appreciate the progress we have made.
Now is the time to make friends with our feelings about retirement and other issues in our lives.
Now is the time to search the corners of our lives for unfinished business, and finish it.
Now is the time to look forward to death with acceptance, knowing it is just another door in the progression of our existence.
Now is the time to enter and relish each moment we are given.
                 Creating a Spiritual Retirement, A Guide to the 
                 Unseen Possibilities in Our Lives
                 Molly Strode, pp. 169-170

An Invitation
When you think about "purpose" at this stage of your life, what comes to mind? I would love to know how you would complete the phrase, "Now is the time…" 

Bonus: Here a link to a list of The Best Books on Aging. Well worth checking out. http://www.timegoesby.net/weblog/the-best-books-on-aging.html

Reflection: Life Changes

We know the phrase "life changes on a dime," but in my case life changed with a turn on the ice. Monday we had a spring snow squall lightly covering patches of sheer ice. It is Minnesota after all. On my way to pick up recycling bins at a recreation center, one of those sneaky ice patches found me, and swoosh! down I went. The next thing I knew I was wrapped in a Green Bay Packer blanket, thanks to a nice passerby, and waiting for the ambulance. 

When one of the EMT guys (God Bless Them ALL!) asked me about my pain, I told him the pain wasn't terrible and that I am a "tough old bird." He chuckled and said he hadn't heard that one before. So glad I could brighten his day! 

I have never broken a bone before, but here I am with a badly broken ankle. I was admitted to the hospital, had surgery on Tuesday, and I came home Wednesday evening. I have a great team, who moved into place quickly, including my husband who returned from Madison immediately, and now recovery is beginning.  However, "back to normal" is off in the distant future. 

Lessons
No doubt there are lots of lessons to be learned. Someone suggested it is hard to accept help, and I have reflected on that and will do so more. Actually, I think I can accept help, but I am not very good asking for help, and there is a difference. My husband who is busy responding to my requests for water or another pillow or help getting to the bathroom, however, may think I know how to ask with no problem. 

My spiritual director suggested perhaps I need to slow down, saying sometimes "God does for us what we could not do for ourselves." If you have been reading this blog, you know that this past year plus has been a time of lots of doing. I have moved from one big task to another. Moving has been the theme.

A New Theme
I will have to find a new theme, for my moving is limited and aided with a walker for the time being. The Time Being. 
Therefore, I will read and I will write. I will smell the flowers that have been delivered to my doorstep and reread the many notes loved ones have sent. I will count my many blessings, including our daughter who met me in the ER soon after I arrived and has been on call ever since. I will sit and watch the little sparrow that comes to sit on the forsythia wreath on our front door. This in its own way is sacred time, and even though at times I will feel frustrated and disappointed at this turn of events, I intend to do my best to pay attention to what it is I am to learn. 

This past Sunday I attended a concert of John Rutter music performed by VocalEssence led by Philip Brunelle. You may have heard this group on Garrison Keillor's Prairie Home Companion. The opening piece, "Dedication," is my prayer, my hope, and perhaps my theme for this time. This Time of Being.

          May my hands be strong yet gentle;
          May my head be held up high.
          May my feet be firm upon the ground.
          With my face toward the sky.
          May my shoulders bear each burden,
          And my back be never bowed.
          May my heart be kind , and wise enough
          To be humble more than proud.
          With so many roads to follow,
           So many dreams, and schemes to plan,
           If I may not change the whole wide world,
           May I do the best I can.
           Amen.

An Invitation
When did your world last turn on a dime and what did you learn? How did that time deepen you spirituality?I would love to know. 

Note: Normally, I post on this blog every Tuesday and Thursday, but due to the recent event in my life I have not been able to stick with that schedule. I hope to resume a more normal schedule in the coming days. 

March's Book: A Religion of One's Own by Thomas Moore

Part of coming full circle, moving back to St Paul, is confronting the church question. All the years we lived here and raised our family, we were extremely involved in church life. Bruce and I each served on the church council and on any number of committees. I was actively involved as well in the regional organization of our denomination. We attended church every Sunday unless we were out of town, and the kids went to Sunday School and participated in youth groups. Church was a major part of our life. In fact, for several years, when I worked at Luther Seminary, it was my work life and my volunteer life, as well. 

When we moved to Ohio, we struggled to find a church home, but had a hard time finding the right match. We attended two different Episcopalian churches and developed good friends in those settings and then found a small Lutheran congregation, but we found we were trying too hard to fit in, even though we considered ourselves "genetic Lutherans." 

By the time we moved to Madison, we were "unchurched," and frankly, we were pretty comfortable with that. Going to church when we visited our family in Minnesota always felt good, and of course, holiday time meant church time. Occasionally, we would attend a morning service at a Lutheran church or Holy Wisdom Monastery or the Unitarian Church, but didn't felt compelled to commit. 

Now we have returned home, and I think we both feel more of a pull to find a church home. We are very drawn to the Lutheran church where our daughter and family are members, Gloria Dei Lutheran Church. http://www.gloriadeistpaul.org The liberal social justice atmosphere, the superb preaching, good music, diverse activities, and nearby location, as well as the chance to worship as a family, all appeal.  I like the size---not too big and not too small. I am sure we will become members there.

Do you sense any hesitation as I write this? 

The Right Book at the Right Time 
Once again, the right book at the right time appears. A Religion of One's Own, A Guide to Creating a Personal Spirituality in a Secular World by Thomas Moore. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/thomas-moore/ Moore's other books, including Care of the Soul, Soul Mates, and Dark Nights of the Soul, all have a permanent place on my bookshelves, and this one will as well. 

The years of being without a church home coincided with a deep spiritual growth in my life. Yearnings I had been feeling for a long time had room and time to expand and gain audience. It was during the Ohio years that I trained to be a spiritual director and had many opportunities to lead retreats and groups. I actively pursued my interest and use of a wide variety of spiritual practices and traditions. I challenged myself--and continue to do so--to uncover my essence and return to wholeness and connection 
to the Divine. 

Still, however, I felt some measure of guilt when I realized I was one of those people who could be classified as "spiritual, but not religious." What about the role of community in my life?And was I just being lazy? 

Being Religious
Moore, who calls himself a "religious humanist," makes a distinction between religion and formal religion. Formal religion is the institution or organization, and religion is a "creative and concrete response to the mysteries that permeate our lives."

          When you're religious in a deep way, you sense
          the sacred in things--a faint and mysterious
          pulse…Personal religion is both an awareness
          of the sacred and concrete action arising out of
          that awareness.  p. 4

Moore adds that developing a religion of one's own doesn't ignore the gift of the formal religions, but instead looks to them for insight. However, a religion of one's own "takes root and flourishes in an individual life." A life that demands being engaged and becoming a creator and not a follower. 

          When I speak of a religion of one's own,  I'm not
          talking about a selfish, ego-centered, loosely
          patched together spiritual concoction. I'm 
          recommending a courageous, deep-seated, fate-
          driven, informed, and intelligent life that has 
          sublime and transcendent dimension. It can be
          shared in a community. It can be accomplished
          inside or outside a traditional religious organization.
          It is suitable for pious members of a religious group
          and for agnostics and atheists. To be religious even in
          a personal way, you have to wake up and find your
          own portals to wonder and transcendence.  p. 12

Evolution of a Personal Religion
Over the years there have been times when being affiliated with a formal religion has shut me down. I struggled with the sexism and exclusive or at least limited nature of what was offered. Sometimes I could ignore what I heard in favor of standing in prayer with others, but eventually that was not the answer. I needed to seek. 

And oh, how exciting the search is. Writing this blog is part of that search. Participating in The Hedgerow Initiative at Wisdom Ways http://www.wisdomwayscenter.org Center for Spirituality in which scripture is examined and studied and interpreted in broader, more expansive ways is another avenue. Being faithful in prayer and making room for daily meditation is another. Attempting to live with awareness of the extraordinary in the ordinary and being present to the Presence within myself and others is part of my evolving personal religion. 

Moore explores the paths and possibilities for creating a personal religion, suggesting the following as we are engaged in the process.
           * Redefine traditional terms and ideas.
           * Don't be too literal about community.
           * Feel that you have the right to learn from and practice
              anything from the world's spiritual and religious
              traditions.
           * Understand that many things, if not everything, that 
               are usually considered secular are sacred, if you
               have the eyes to see it.
            * Be a mystic in your own ways.
            * Wisdom, compassion, and method. 
            * Use the arts for your spiritual education and welfare.
            * Be intelligent about everything involved in your
               spirituality, but also use your intuition.
            * Embrace eros; don't be afraid of it. Build your
               religion on joy and bliss. pp. 269-271

The Church Question
So where does that leave me on the church question? Open. I look forward to Sunday mornings in a way I haven't before, for I think I bring more to them than I did in the past. I don't depend on church to define and fulfill my spirituality, my personal religion, but to enhance it. 

I will continue to ask the question and to reflect, for this is part of my spiritual growth in the wisdom years. 

An Invitation
What is your definition of religion? How does your personal religion and formal religion intersect and has that changed over the years? I would love to know.      


          

November's Book: Speaking of Faith, Why Religion Matters--and How To Talk About It by Krista Tippett

One of my spiritual practices is reading, using a meditative, devotional, or thought-provoking book as a guide for exploration and reflection. One Thursday a month I will share reflections with you from my current reading. 

One of the best aspects of driving frequently between Madison and St Paul is listening to good radio. I am one of the millions of National Public Radio junkies and am grateful for my subscription to Sirius radio in my car, for even when I am in the "dead zone" around Tomah, WI, I can still listen to public radio! One of my favorite programs is On Being hosted by Krista Tippett. Originally, the program, which offers spacious conversation about religion, meaning, ethics and ideas, the big questions at the center of human life, was called Speaking of Faith. That is also the title of Tippett's first book,  Speaking of Faith, Why Religion Matters and How to Talk About It.

Tippett is a journalist and former diplomat in West Germany and received the M.Div degree from Yale. A project with the Benedictines at St John's Abbey in Collegeville, MN, led her to imagine the kind of radio program that became a reality in Speaking the Faith. The book is a chance for Tippett to extend the radio conversations during which she primarily is the listener. "With the book, I show my hand...The conversations I have with my guests are powerfully revealing, and I felt that I had a kind of obligation to do this--to trace the line I ask my guests to trace between religious ideas and real life." (p. 4 of the Reader's  Guide.)

Religion and Spirituality 
One of the topics the book explores is the difference between religion and spirituality. For many people there is no difference, but Tippett describes religion as the "containers of faith" and spirituality as "faith's original impulse and essence." (pp. 173-174) She remarks, however, that she prefers not to be too rigid in that distinction. 
      
      Religious traditions are bearers of manifold beauty and
      a weight of human reverence across time. They sustain 
     disciplines and rituals human beings crave as much as 
     they crave raw encounters with the divine. From our first 
     breath, we need structure and routine as deeply as we 
     delight in mystery. In some mysterious way, 'containing' 
     religion helps to unlock the sacred within us. It enables 
     us to participate in the human encounter with the divine 
     even when our own spirits are dry even in those times, 
     we can say the words and sing the songs and find courage 
     in them, borne along by the hope and trust and company 
     of others. p. 174

Metaphors for Religion and Spirituality
I like the idea of religion as a container, for it makes me aware of how not only what fills the container can change, but also the container itself can change. Sometimes the container is not big enough and what is in the container overflows and, in fact, cannot be contained. Sometimes what is in the container is shallow and is barely noticed, but the container can protect what remains. 

Over the years of my spiritual journey my container has changed and continues to change. In fact, the container is not as important to me right now as it has been in the past. That is not to say that in the future the container, its shape and size, may not resume more importance or priority in my life. I suspect it will. 

When I have given workshops on spiritual practices or led spiritual direction groups, I offer another metaphor for the difference between religion and spirituality. Think of religion as marriage and spirituality as love. It is possible for one to be in a marriage without love and and also for there to be love without marriage. For many people it is important to have both. 

Tippett offers Rabbi Sandy Eisenberg Sasso's illustration of the difference between religion and spirituality. Sasso says Moses had a direct encounter with God on Mount Sinai and that was a spiritual experience, but the Ten Commandments he received through that experience are religion.  

One Definition of Spirituality
I think the essence of spirituality is the way I experience the connection to the sacred aspect of life, the spirit of life. That connection takes a variety of forms:
* The connection to our own inner, creative core,
* The connection to other people,
* The connection to nature,
* The connection to a greater power, the Divine, God,
* Or any combination of the above. 

How do you define spirituality?

Ongoing Conversations
 Thanks to Tippett's "conversation partners" on the radio program, as well as those from the past she has read and studied, she has learned that "everyone has relevant observations to make about the nature of God and ultimate things--that the raw material of our lives is stuff of which we construct our sensibility of meaning and purpose in this life, of how the divine intersects or interacts with our lives, of what it means to be human...I believe that we have too often diminished and narrowed the parameters of this quest We've made it heady or emotional and neglected to take seriously the flawed, mundane physicality, the mess as well as the mystery, of the raw materials with which we are dealing." p.127

Sometimes when I am asked what I do, and I say I am a spiritual director, I may hear the response, "Well, I am spiritual, but I'm not religious." I have yet to hear "I am religious, but not spiritual," but does that mean one is naturally spiritual if one is religious? 

While reading Speaking the Faith that question became a conversation not only with Tippett, but also about or with many of my spiritual heroes, such as Thomas Merton, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Karen Armstrong, Elie Weisel, Joan Chittister, Parker Palmer, Roberta Bondi, Thich Nhat Hanh, Rachel Naomi Remen, who figure in Tippett's own spiritual journey.  And in these conversations come ongoing opportunities to explore my beliefs about religion and spirituality and their roles in my life. 

An Invitation
What do you think about the difference between religion and spirituality? Do you think there is a difference? How has the dynamic between religion and spirituality been alive in your life? 

I look forward to your comments. 

November's Reflection: The Season of Shawls

I like the expression "keeping a season," which according to Sarah Sarah Ban Breathnach in her book Romancing the Ordinary, A Year of Simple Splendor, refers to the "traditional ways people in the country restored their bodies and nurtured their souls by honoring in their daily rounds, the rhythm of the natural world." p. 43. One way I do that as fall turns into winter in these November weeks is to get out my shawls.

Sweaters may come and go from my wardrobe, but my shawls 
remain. My clothing size may change, but my shawls always fit. 


I wear a shawl when I am reading, when I am meditating, when I am napping, when I am watching tv, when I am writing. I wear a shawl over jeans and turtleneck, over pajamas, instead of a robe, and sometimes I even wear one when I get dressed up and go out for an evening. When we flew to Paris, I created a cozy and quiet space for the overnight trip by wrapping myself in a shawl, and when I go on retreat a shawl goes with me. 

Shawls I Know and Love
Over the years my collection of shawls has grown, but there are three that have become icons in my life. 

One even has a name, the Joaneth Shawl.  My dear friend Joan knit it for me in the early years of our friendship. As someone whose hands are meant for clicking on laptop keys or stirring batter in a bowl or holding hands with a grandchild, but NOT for sewing or knitting or painting or other creative hands-on gifts, I am in awe when someone gives me something they have made. This multi-colored, earth, sky, and water-toned shawl, my Joseph's Coat of Many Colors shawl, of softest yarns is layered with love and connection. Over the years this shawl has stretched and expanded, and I can wrap myself in it twice over. In many ways that is what has happened with our friendship, too. 

A second shawl is one that the writer Natalie Goldberg sent me many years ago after I helped her organize and publicize a writing workshop she did in Minneapolis. This shawl with a rougher texture in purples and reds with touches of turquoise makes me think of open air markets in the Southwest and draws me closer to the guardian angel an intuitive once told me sits near me when I write. His name is Tony, and he is Native American. 

The third shawl was a Christmas gift from my husband one long ago year--a generously sized and rich colored Pashmina. Another woman might think it too luxurious to wear everyday, but not me. I wrap myself in its Burgundy-wine density and feel worthy of it even when wearing flannel pajamas. 

The Warmth of Shawls
Along with the physical warmth of wearing a shawl, I feel its emotional and spiritual warmth. By wrapping myself in a shawl, I nurture, protect, and comfort myself. The shawl creates sacred space, especially when I sit at my desk to write or when I close my eyes to meditate. 

When I wear a shawl, my personal vestment, I almost feel as if I am wrapping myself in wisdom. I imagine myself as a woman of wisdom, a crone, and I am glad to meet her.

Becoming a Crone
Marion Woodman in Coming Home to Myself, Reflections for Nurturing a Woman's Body and Soul describes a crone as "the wise older woman who has lived long, suffered loss and pain, survived to tell the truth to herself (and others if they are ready to hear), laughed with kindness at herself, learned to let go of expectations, and forgive herself, and others for their shortcomings." (p, 136)
                           The Crone has seen enough
                           to be able to separate 
                           irrelevance from essence
                           She has neither time nor energy
                           to waste on superficialities.
                                                     (p.140)

Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D. in her delightful and wise book Crones Don't Whine, Concentrated Wisdom for Juicy Women says it is time to reclaim the word "crone," from the Grimm Brothers Fairy Tale images.
          To be a crone is about inner development, not outer
          appearance. A crone is a woman who has wisdom,
          compassion, humor, courage, and vitality. She has a
          sense of truly being herself, can express what she 
          knows and feels, and take action when need be. She
          does not avert her eyes or numb her mind from reality.
          She can see the flaws and imperfections in herself
          and others, but the light in which she sees is not harsh
          and judgmental. She has learned to trust herself to know
          what she knows.  (p. 4)

I was given each of these shawls before I reached the Crone age. In fact, when I received the shawl from Natalie Goldberg, I was still the mother of school-aged children, oh so long ago, but perhaps I was already striving to be a Crone. Perhaps, I was a Wisdom Gatherer, which is what Sue Patton Thoele calls the stage between Mother and Crone.
            In this phase, our souls invite us to mature in spirit,
            acknowledge and build on our unique gifts and 
            talents, and glean wisdom from our experiences
            through thoughtful contemplation.
                                    The Woman's Book of Soul,
                                    Meditations for Courage, Confidence,
                                    and Spirit, p. 174.

All this may be a lot to ask of a shawl, for I know I have a long way to go before I live up to the attributes of a Crone, but somehow wearing a shawl reminds me to honor the wisdom I have already acquired and to stay open to all that is yet to come. 

An Invitation to Comment
Are you a Crone? What does that word mean to you? How are you living your life as a Crone? 
Do you have a clothing icon in your life?






    

Tuesday's Reflection: Focus on Gratitude

Gratitude is the most passionate transformative force in the cosmos. When we offer thanks to God or to another human being, gratitude gifts us with renewal, reflection, reconnection.
                                       Sarah Ban Breathnach

I carry the image in my heart of our granddaughter at a young age with her arms opened wide saying, "Thank you so much." I don't remember what we gave her, whether it was a birthday gift or a small "I love you" gift. No matter, for what I remember was her enthusiastic and generous ability to say "thank you." She felt it and meant it and showed it. I suspect a hug and a kiss followed the words.

When was the last time you said "thank you" with such openness and genuine appreciation? When was the last time you felt a lift of gratitude in your heart? When you felt that awareness of gratefulness, how did you express it? 

Giving Thanks
November is a month when giving thanks is part of our consciousness. We know at the end of the month the tradition is to gather with family and/or friends to not only feast, but to give thanks. It is the giving thanks that interests me right now. 

Gratitude's active partner is expressing the gratitude. Showing it. Living it. Giving it. How do you do that? What are some ways you might do that this month? 

Thoughts About Gratitude
The word "thanks" comes from Indo-European words for "think" and "thoughtfulness." The implication of that, it seems to me, is that in order to feel gratitude, we need to live with awareness, with a spirit of reflection.  Deciding to live with gratitude is a deep spiritual decision of how you want to relate with life, of adopting an attitude of not giving into life's inevitable ups and downs.

"A thankful person is thankful under all circumstances. A complaining soul complains even if he lives in paradise." Founder of the Baha'i faith

Living this way goes beyond being optimistic or a Pollyanna or in denial, or even the ability to see something positive in any situation, but instead the attitude of being ever thankful arises from an overflowing heart. 

We are grateful for the very fact of being alive. We are grateful for what was and yet will be. We are grateful for the love in our life and the love we are capable of giving. We are grateful for the breath in our body. We are grateful for our ability to feel a bit more alive each and every day. So many gifts.

And what do we do when we receive a gift? We give thanks. 

The feeling of gratitude opens the heart more than any other emotion, except perhaps love, and gratitude is the sister of joy. The more you find to be grateful for, the more you will open your heart and enhance your life, and the more you open your heart, the more you will find to be grateful for. What a wonderful circle. And in that circle of gratitude, the giver of a gift become the receiver of thanks, and the one who responds with thanks enlarges the gift. 

Gratitude as Spiritual Practice 
"Saying thank you is more than good manners. It is good spirituality." Alfred Painter

The ability to recognize life's gifts arises from what Buddhist's call "mindfulness." Gratitude as a spiritual practice (Note the word "practice.") is the intention to live in the present attentively, in order to see with the Awakened Eye of Thanksgiving. What will your Awakened Eye see this month of Thanksgiving and how will you express your gratitude for what you notice?

"Jewish tradition gives us a goal. We should say one hundred blessings each day. When we try it, we discover that it's quite difficult to find one hundred things each day for which to be grateful. So difficult, in fact, that we spend most of our time looking." Daniel I. Schwartz and Mark Hass 

Thank You
 I am so grateful to each of you for taking the time to read my blog and allowing me to enter your heart, mind, and spirit. Writing this blog is a spiritual practice for me and reminds me whenever I sit at my desk to give thanks for the opportunity to share my thoughts, hopes, and prayer.  

Thank you also for your comments and emails and for sharing my blog with others.
  
Please note that this week's Thursday meditation will focus on gratitude as a way to cultivate gratitude in your life. Watch for a new post on Thursday, November 7. 

An Invitation 
How will you live with greater gratitude this month of Thanksgiving? In what ways can you express your gratefulness?
I invite you to share your intentions by adding a comment on this blog post.  

Tuesday's Reflection: Little Smiles, Big Smiles

What has made you smile today? 

If you've walked by our house recently, perhaps the sight of a rubber ducky in the birdbath made you smile. I hope so. My husband got the idea to add this little piece of amusement to the front garden, and it does make me smile every time I go in or out the front door. It reminds me to smile and also to be open to smile-producing possibilities around me. 

What's There to Smile About?
Having a house on the market is serious business, and nothing about it makes me smile. Our home has been reduced to more of a product than our shelter and source of contentment, creativity, and connection. The goal has been to reduce our own identity in the house and return it to a more neutral state in hopes that potential buyers can imagine themselves in the house. I get it and have done what needs to be done, but smiling about it seems too much to ask. 

The rubber ducky in the birdbath, therefore, is even more of a treat. 

 My Smiling Experiment
On a recent Target run, I decided, as I walked through the door, I was not only going to smile my way through the aisles, but I was going to find one thing to smile about for every item on my list. Here's my list and what produced smiles.
Toilet paper. A baby about 8 months old wearing the most colorful combination of dots and stripes. I smiled at her. She smiled at me.
Kleenex. An older couple, each with a cane, in a minor skirmish about which paper towels to buy. I smiled at them. They smiled at me. 
Laundry detergent and dishwasher detergent. No one in these aisles, so I smiled at myself. That works, too.
French vanilla lowfat yogurt.  A Target employee unpacking cartons of yogurt. I asked him what flavor of yogurt he likes best. "None of it," he said. "My mom made me eat it all the time when I was a kid and now I don't even like unpacking it!" I smiled at him, and he smiled at me. 
Eggs. Eggs just by themselves should make anyone smile. Think about it--the whites, the yolk, inside a hard, yet fragile container. Weird. Why not smile just because?

At the check-out line I smiled at the college-aged girl in front of me. She didn't return my smile. I smiled at the clerk and asked her how her day was going so far. "Fine," she said and sort of smiled. At least I am going to interpret it as a smile. 

Smiling Words
Caren Goldman in her book Healing Words for the Body, Mind, and Spirit, 101 Words to Inspire and Affirm explores what Buddhist Thich Nhat Hanh has to say about smiling.

       Our smiles affirm our awareness and determination
       to live lives filled with peace and joy. Moreover, when
       we remember to smile when awakening--even if it takes
       hanging a reminder such as a branch, a leaf, a painting,
       or some inspiring words close by--it helps us approach
       the day with gentleness and understanding. Even the tiniest
       bud of a smile on our lips has the healing power to
       relax all the muscles in our face, banish worries and 
       fatigue, nourish awareness, calm us, and return us to
       the peace we thought we had lost.

I returned home to the rubber ducky in the bird bath, and we exchanged smiles. 

An Invitation
I invite you to do your own smiling experiment. What happens when you smile? What makes you smile? What difference, if any, does it make when you smile? I await your comments. 

October's Interview: Cindy Garis and Exploring Variety in Spiritual Practice

On the fourth Thursday of each month I will introduce you to someone whom I look up to as a spiritual friend and teacher. The focus of my questions is on their spiritual practices and what nurtures their deepening spirituality.

This month meet Cindy Garis whom I met when we were beginning our training as spiritual directors through Oasis Ministries for Spiritual Development. Cindy, who is an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ, has been the executive director of Oasis since 2004. She received her M.Div from Lancaster Theological Seminary (Lancaster, PA) and served six years as co-pastor for a congregation in Lebanon, PA, before beginning her ministry with Oasis. Cindy leads prayer retreats for congregations and small groups, including a favorite one with the theme of Wizard of Oz. www.oasismin.org/Oz.html 

Please describe your spiritual practice? What do you identify as your main spiritual practice?

My main spiritual practice right now is mindfulness, but walking, forgiveness, and playing with the dog are part of my spiritual practice as well. 

Every morning and evening I practice the basic mindfulness breath meditation for at least five minutes, but perhaps up to 30 minutes. What that means is that I focus on my breath. I don't breathe differently, but am aware of my breath as it flows in and out and through my body.

How did that become your main practice?

It actually became my primary practice after I was invited to lead a workshop entitled "A Mindful Approach to Stress Reduction." I found it to be so helpful in the way it moved me to be present to what is, right now, not in the future or the past. 

I had a similar experience with meditation when I was asked to substitute for someone who was supposed to teach a class on meditation techniques. By preparing for the class, I converted myself to a practice of meditation. 

When I asked about your main spiritual practice you said mindfulness is the key one "right now." What other spiritual practices have been or are important to you?

Honestly, I find that I need variety in my life, and my spiritual practice is no different. So while mindfulness has become very important in order to keep my life grounded, I would say that many other practices have held the primary role at one time or another.

For example?

I find that walking in nature is very sacred to me. Hiking, walking a labyrinth, even walking the dog is holy time. It often clears my head and becomes prayerful activity...a chance to be reminded of God's creative presence on a grand and large scale, but also on a small scale. 

When I have led retreats, I have invited participants to make a hole on an index card with a paper hole punch and then take that index card outside and look through the hole with an "attentive gaze," focusing on something specific. What happens in that exercise is that we notice the Cosmic Creator in the very small. Perhaps it is a bug or a leaf or bark on a tree. The hole in the card helps us focus our attention. 

Similar attentiveness can be aided by using a flashlight at night to help you focus your gaze. Or if you are walking a labyrinth, wear a veil or head covering, so that all you are able to see is the next step.

I love this idea and can't wait to try it myself. Any other practices you care to mention?

Group spiritual direction or group contemplation. I am amazed at how much I enjoy sitting in silence WITH others. Again, it helps me remain focused and more centered. It also reminds me that being a contemplative in this world might make you a bit counter-cultural, but you do have company.

I remember when I was attending the Spiritual Direction for Spiritual Guides two-year program at Oasis, I could hardly wait for the morning circle time when we would all gather in silence. It was so powerful to sit in silence with others. You mentioned the practice of forgiveness. Say more, please.

Both the practice of forgiveness and the practice of play are important to me on my spiritual journey because they help me not take myself too seriously. They remind me I am not the center of the universe. Love is. They help me celebrate imperfection and connect with all of humanity.

What hints or advice do you have for someone developing a spiritual practice?

Don't give up! Spiritual practice is about "practicing," not "mastering." That's why I like the term "spiritual practice" a bit more than "spiritual discipline." I am not a very disciplined person, but I can practice again and again and again. 

Spiritual practices are about noticing...noticing the sacred in the ordinary. For me, it is recognizing how I notice God or the sacred in the everyday of life. 

 Noticing how we notice. Can you give an example? 

Well, I,  at times play Candy Crush Saga. Yep, an addicting matching game app. Recently, I found myself asking, "Now what does Candy Crush have to teach me about the contemplative life?" What I discovered is that it reminded me to be focused on the invitation, not on the distraction. In Candy Crush, if it asks you to "clear all the jellies," do not get distracted by the blinking candy pieces. In my every day life, I am reminded to focus on what God's invitation is, instead of focusing on other stressors or distractions. 

Any book titles or other resources you care to recommend that would support my readers on their journey?

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn
Also, visit Ronald Siegel's The Mindfulness Solution website for more information and to listen to various mindful meditations. http://mindfulness-solution.com/

Thank you Cindy for sharing insights into your spiritual practices and extending the invitation to notice what and how we are noticing. Not only are you are a blessing in my life, but so is Oasis Ministries for Spiritual Development. 

Oasis Ministries located in Camp Hill, Pa is an ecumenical Christian ministry that brings together people who long to listen for and encounter the Holy Spirit and invites them to center their everyday lives deep in God. Single-day gatherings, retreats, pilgrimages, short-term and long-term courses form individuals into communities that nurture quiet prayer and open up souls to discover and practice God's presence. Since 1988, they have been teaching people how to companion others on their spiritual journey, listening to people's longing for Divine Love. www.oasismin.org.

An Invitation
What questions do you have for Cindy? What are you noticing as you are noticing your encounters with the Holy in your everyday life? Post your comments and questions.