NOTE: After today's post, I am going to take a brief break. I will be back Thursday, January 4th.
I intend to enjoy these sacred days of Christmas and to enter the New Year rested and relaxed. I wish the same for you.
I made an assumption.
If you read my Tuesday, December 12, 2017 post, you know that one of my Advent practices is coloring the outline of a labyrinth. I decided to do this as a way to stay calm and focused during the busy Advent season. I don't spend time coloring every day, but when I do, I enjoy deciding the colors to use and how far that morning's "walk" will be.
One day last week I thought, "Wow, I better get moving or I will never get to the sacred center by Christmas. That morning I swooped around more curves than I had previously. The day before I had accomplish several Christmas tasks and I felt freer. The way seemed clearer.
But, my husband, who knows me so well, said, "What makes you think the center is Christmas?"
I sputtered. To myself, fortunately, and said something about how I would need to think about that.
I am thinking about that with the help of a meditation in Jan Richardson's book Night Visions, Searching the Shadows of Advent and Christmas. She describes how Advent is a season of preparation, a time of getting ready for what lies ahead. I assumed that means Christmas Eve and Day, the celebration of Jesus' birth.
Yes, that is true, but Richardson also invites me to discover what else this time is preparing me for?
What is the way that is being prepared within
the wilderness of my life? What does it mean
for my own life to become a path, a way of
welcome for the Holy One? How do I give
myself time to notice the ways that the path
unfolds before me and within me? What are
the acts of preparation that bring delight to
my daily life? Whom do I ask or allow to help
me prepare?
I am preparing to dig into a major revision of my spiritual memoir. This stage of writing my book means I need to go deeper into my own material and I need stretches, rather than snatches, of writing time. I know doing that will require some changes in how I spend my time, and I will need support as I walk this labyrinth.
This is a time of preparation, and my intention is to keep walking this labyrinth, step by step.
An Invitation
What are you preparing for? I would love to know.
Author and book store owner, Ann Patchett declared 2017 as a year of no shopping, except what she could buy in the grocery store and BOOKS. I am not ready to follow her no shopping practice, but if I did, I would definitely make the same exception for books.
I love giving books and receiving books and also selecting books for myself. I love libraries and book stores, as well as shopping my own book shelves. Don't be surprised if you see me snooping to see what you have on your shelves, too.
And I love lists of books.
Therefore, here's my 2017 list of favorites.
FICTION
My top two fiction recommendations are
1. Underground Railroad -- Colson Whitehead
2. Little Fires Everywhere -- Cynthia Ng
Others --in no specific order
* Lillian Boxfish Takes A Walk -- Helen Simonson
* In This Grave Hour -- Jacqueline Winspear (the most recent in the Maisie Dobbs series)
* LaRose -- Louise Erdrich (Also on my 2016 list. I read it again for our books group.)
* Exit West -- Mohsin Hamid
* A Gentleman in Moscow -- Amor Towles
* Homegoing -- Yaa Gyasi
* The Summer Before the War -- Helen Simonson
* A History of Wolves -- Emily Fridlund
* Glass Houses -- Louise Penny's most recent mystery
* Foreign Affairs -- Allison Lurie
* A Gathering of Birds -- Laura Harrington
* Future Home of the Living God -- Louise Erdrich
* Three titles by Gail Godwin: Her newest, Grief Cottage, plus two older books, The Good Husband, which I had not read before, and Father Melancholy's Daughter for the second time.
* Books by Willa Cather. I set a goal to read all of her novels including ones I have read before, and to read them in the order in which they were written. I read the first seven and have four more to go. I loved rereading O Pioneers, My Antonia, and The Professor's House and also so enjoyed Song of the Lark, but don't regret reading the others either--My Mortal Enemy, One of Ours, and A Lost Lady. I hope to read her others in 2018.
SPIRITUALITY
My favorite in this category is Ageless Soul, The Lifelong Journey Toward Meaning and Joy by Thomas Moore. I read several books on spirituality and aging this year, and this is the one I think will most help me grow spiritually as I continue to age.
Others--in no specific order
* The Book of Joy -- Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu
* The Grace in Living -- Kathleen Dowling Singh
* Two books by Diana Butler Bass: Grounded, Finding God in the World, A Spiritual Revolution and Christianity for the Rest of Us, How the Neighborhood Church is Transforming the Faith
* Voices in the Stone, Life Lessons from the Native Way -- Kent Nerburn
* Take This Bread -- Sara Miles
* We Make This Road By Walking -- Brian McLaren
* What is the Bible? How an Ancient Library of Poems, Letters, and Stories Can Transform The Way You Think and Feel About Everything -- Rob Bell.
OTHER NONFICTION
* Men Explain Things to Me -- Rebecca Solnit
* Hourglass, Time, Memory, Marriage --Dani Shapiro
* The Song Poet -- Kao Kalia Yang
* Publishing, A Writer's Memoir -- Gail Godwin (This is what led me to reread her books.)
* On Living -- Kerry Egan (This memoir could also be included on my spirituality list.)
* Letters to a Young Muslim -- Omar Said Ghobash
* A Homemade Life, Stories and Recipes from My Kitchen Table --Molly Wizenberg
Yes, indeed, another great reading year. Although I have read many new novels, more and more I am drawn to reading older books--ones I missed earlier in my life or ones I want to reread. I assume this is part of being an older reader, but want to think more about the reasons. Nostalgia? Lack of identification with young writers and their style or topics? A realization of what I have missed and a desire to fill in the blanks? Perhaps, all of the above.
Invitation
What have you read this past year that remains in your heart and mind? I would love to know.
NOTE: You can find previous lists here, here, here, here, here, and finally, here.
Compared to some years, we aren't doing much entertaining this year. We aren't being Scrooges, and we didn't make a conscious decision to not entertain, but this is the way it is this year.
I remember how, when our children were growing up, we hosted many holiday events, including suppers each Sunday in Advent, a big neighborhood caroling party, plus Epiphany, Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve dinners with family and friends. Some years I invited my women friends for a present wrapping party. Such fun to chat and laugh and nosh while wrapping presents. Over the years we have opened our homes, all decked out and looking their festive best.
I have been feeling bit guilty about all the effort and energy it takes to decorate even this house. True, we don't have the multiple trees we did in our 1906 Victorian. We have no staircases with garland wrapped in white lights and no fireplaces with mantels to fill with greens and glowing, glittery creations. But make no mistake, this house, too, is the setting for Christmas magic.
Was it worth it, the two full days we devoted right after Thanksgiving to decorating the house? Especially since we aren't hosting many events. And will the two days needed to dismantle, defrock and restore the house after New Year's be worth the effort?
Last night we sat reading in the living room because the snug was a bit chilly. I paused and gazed at the twinkling lights on our Charlie Brown tree and the simple vignette on the coffee table in front of me. "I love this," I whispered inside my heart.
In the morning we plug in all the lights and just before going to bed, we unplug them and in-between we move through our routines, the tasks of the day, and there are plenty right now. But we have a framework: the lights of Advent.
Yes, it is worth it. I am reminded of the beauty, the hope, the joys, the promises of this season wherever I look in our home. This is not just any time. This is Advent.
My prayer is that I take all those open-hearted feelings into the world wherever I go, whatever I do.
Yes, it is worth it. And who knows, maybe next year we will once again fill the calendar with events in our home.
An Invitation
What keeps you connected to the gifts of this season? I would love to know.
Even though I love the Advent season, sometimes an inner conflict churns its way through me.
I begin to look ahead to January.
Sunday afternoon I needed to clear my desk, which in just a couple days had become piled with receipts, bills, extra Christmas cards, envelopes with new addresses from friends who had moved during the year, notes to myself on small pieces of paper, the bulletin from that morning's church service, a list of tasks I need to do in the coming week and more. Always more. It didn't take me long to toss and file and to organize for the week, but then I felt myself attracted to messy drawers, overloaded files, dusty shelves, and other piles only known to me.
I wanted to zoom into January. Organize. Clean. Create new systems. Clear the space. And not just in the garret, but the whole house. What has accumulated that is unnecessary? What no longer fulfills a valid purpose? What needs to move on and out?
All of that is in the future. The near future, true, but not today.
Today we are still in December. Today we are still waiting for Christmas.
Today my challenge is to live, really live in the present.
One of my Advent practices this year is to color an outline of a labyrinth. I actually thought by the time I got to this stage of Advent I would have completed one or two labyrinths. Instead, I am not even halfway to the center of one labyrinth.
I am coloring (walking) slowly. I am attempting to be aware of each stroke (step). I choose the colors carefully, breathe deeply, and pay attention to where I am on the path. I do my best to be present to how I am feeling, how I am moving, how I am being in these Advent days.
This is why I also love fog. It is so much like
life. We really can only see a few steps ahead of
ourselves. All we can do is put one foot in front
of another and pay attention to what is revealed
in the mist before us.
Christine Valters Paintner
An Invitation
How do you attempt to stay in the present moment? What are the fruits of doing that? I would love to know.
As you faithful readers know, I begin my days with meditation/devotion time. I wrap a shawl around my shoulders and sit back luxuriously in my Girlfriend Chair, my feet up on an ottoman covered in vintage fabrics. I close my eyes and breathe deeply to find my own rhythm and eventually, I open my current devotional book and awaken to inspiration and reflection for the day.
Eager for the beginning of Advent, over the weekend I shopped my bookshelves and gathered a stack of materials to companion me during the days leading to Christmas. Old favorites. Three books by Jan Richardson and also a book by Marcus Borg and John Dominic Crossan I read years ago, The First Christmas, What the Gospels Really Teach About Jesus's Birth. Of course, my Bible and my journal were close by, too.
I also made copies of the outline of a labyrinth. Last year I drew a series of mandalas during Advent Read here. and I considered doing that again this year, but how about, instead, coloring labyrinths? I wonder what doing that might reveal to me.
And finally, I added to the already teetering pile a precious small journal a friend gave me when she visited this fall. The lightly textured cover is in shades of blue, the color of Advent, and the paper is silky, beckoning my fountain pen. I decided to use this small book to record quotations that resonate or perplex or comfort or engage me during these weeks.
I was ready. Bring on Advent!
Here's what happened.
Monday: I began my day by taking a shower and dressing first, instead of retreating for meditation time. I had to reverse my usual order because we were getting a new furnace and the heating guys would arrive early. By the time I had put my feet up, the clatter and chatter had begun. Silence was shattered and so was my meditation time.
Tuesday: I called this my Marathon Day. Events were scheduled morning, afternoon, and evening with little space in between. Once again, instead of beginning my day with quiet, I did what I needed to do to leave the house for the first event of the day. And to do it extremely carefully because the roads were covered in ice and a slight layer of new snow. All went well.
Wednesday: Ah, finally. The first day of Advent for me. And how rich it was. I read Jan Richardson's words:
"...this presence who goes with us as day gives
way to darkness."
I wrote in my journal about the gifts of the previous two days and realized how the Presence had been my companion, even though my usual routine had been upended.
Morning time grounds me and offers the space I need to uncover the person God created me to be, but sometimes life happens and the day has other plans for me. It is at those times I most need to open to the Presence who companions me. Advent is in the quiet, and Advent is in the movement of our lives.
An Invitation
In what ways do you sense the companionship of the Sacred? I would love to know.
What do you find hopeful today?
In what ways do you experience hope?
I know this may be difficult. I know this may be a challenge, and you may feel anything but hopeful today, but stop, pause, and take a deep breath. Stretch, if you need to, but open your heart to a sign or a moment of hope. (Look for the stars in this photograph.)
It doesn't need to be something major. Anything will do. Just something.
While you are in this brief moment of stillness, allow me to share a moment when I felt embraced with hope.
Last week we attended the St Olaf Christmas Festival, as we do most years. That concert signals the start of Advent for me, even more than decorating the house. Getting out our Christmas decorations is a personal thing giving me the context for everything else on the list--buying presents, writing Christmas cards, making cherry walnut bread etc.
But the Christmas Festival opens my heart and connects me to the past, challenges me to be in the present, and leads me toward the future.
Being there I remember my four privileged years as a student at St Olaf. This is where I met my husband and where I discovered my calling as a teacher, where I made longterm friendships, and where I took steps into adulthood. I think about all the other years of sitting in the hushed dark absorbing the Christmas message in music and the word. The first time I attended the concert, which is really a worship service, I was in third grade, I believe, and I will always remember that night as one of magic and beauty. I think about our daughter and son-in-love, who also graduated from St Olaf, and the love they continue to grow and share.
I don't just dwell in the past, however. With the orchestra's first chord, this year Elgar's Adagio "Nimrod," such an evocative piece, I felt my body relax into the present moment. Be with the music. Be with the breath. Be with the inspiration. Be with the beauty. Be with this gift.
At the same time I felt lifted into the future, a brighter and yes, better future. And that feeling surprised me.
Before the concert began, all five choirs (400 plus voices) lined the perimeter of the gymnasium, majestically transformed into a concert hall. They stood shoulder to shoulder, forming what felt like a circle without beginning or ending. In this position they sang an African American spiritual.
Keep your lamps trimmed and burning,
the time is drawing nigh.
Children, don't get weary 'til your work is done.
Christian journey soon be over,
the time is drawing nigh.
Keep your lamps trimmed and burning,
the time is drawing nigh.
As all 400 bodies moved in unison, I felt enfolded, embraced, lifted by hope. All those young people. Here it was only days before the end of the fall semester --exams and final papers and projects--and they were sharing their gifts. Just as they will share their gifts with the world in future years. No wonder I felt filled with hope.
Thomas Moore says, "Hope is not the same as expectation. Hope is a positive point of view tinged with joy that doesn't demand a certain outcome, but trusts in the goodness of life."
Yes.
May you find reasons to be hopeful.
May you live with hope and may you bring hope where you encounter darkness and uncertainty and loss.
An Invitation
What is your experience of hope today? How do you practice hope?I would love to know.
NOTE: The new issue of Bella Grace is now available, and it features my essay "Beyond the Threshold." I hope you will pick up a copy.
Also, you can hear an encore performance of the St Olaf Christmas Concert at mpr.org on Sunday, December 24 at 2:30 a.m., 8:30 a.m. and 2:30 p.m. (CST). Or check christmas.stolaf.edu for further information.
