Sidewalk Wisdom: Thursday's Post

Look what I found when I went on a walk. 

I don't need to add anything.

An Invitation
Where are you finding inspiration? I would love to know. 

My Book of Quotations: Thursday's Reflection

Don't you love it when you receive the perfect present? There have been many of those in my privileged life, I say with a grateful heart. Some have been gifts of time and some have been special events. Some have been unexpected opportunities or fulfillment of goals or an answer to a prayer, but, of course, many have been a tangible object. 

Thank you, dear friend, who shortly before Advent gave me this small journal. Not only do I love its jewel-like appearance, the shimmering ombre blue tones, but the feel of the paper invites the touch of a fountain pen, which many years ago was another  treasured gift. And, it is a Christian LaCroix of Paris product, so I pretend that I bought it myself in a small and exclusive shop on a Parisian side street. 

At first I didn't know how I wanted to use this journal. I knew I didn't want to use it for To Do lists--how mundane! Nor did I want to use it for my daily journal writing because I would fill it in a week. I wanted to savor this journal. 

Eventually, I decided to use it to store sparkling and special quotations from my reading or wherever I encountered them, for that matter. And that's what I am doing. 

Some days I leaf through the pages just to see what inspires or speaks to me in that moment. 

                     Love wholeheartedly, be surprised,
                     give thanks and praise -- then you 
                     will discover the fullness of your life.
                                 David Steindl-Rast

Some days a quotation I recorded couldn't be more appropriate.

                     Your life begins to end the moment you
                     start being silent about the things that matter.
                                  Martin Luther King, Jr.

Some days I look for a quotation I have saved that might help soothe a troubled soul, as I did the other day in response to an email from a friend. This was the first quotation I recorded in this precious little journal.

                      Come from the edge of darkness
                      Come
                      from the depth of fear
                      and become 
                      the bearer of God.
                                  Jan Richardson

Before I record a new quotation, I reread the last one. 

  Regular periods of solitude, silence,  
  and stillness provide a way to dismantle 
  the dissonance. Contemplative 
  practices provide a way to cut through 
  the static and the noise that lead us 
  away from the voice of God.
                           Phileena Heuerte







I am not compelled to record a quotation every day, but I know the presence of this little book makes me more aware of the wisdom available to me. My only rule, by the way, is to note the date I add the quote to my journal. 

                       1-1-18
                       The soul holds expectations loosely and is not
                       attached to the outcome. The soul takes her
                       time, embraces the slow ripening of things,
                       and savors what is to be learned from the 
                       present.
                                   Christine Valters Paintner

I wonder what wisdom tomorrow will bring, but when it comes I know where to shelter it. 


An Invitation
How do you save and savor the wisdom around you? I would love to know.


    

Wisdom, Part 2: Thursday's Reflection

During the retreat I co-facilitated recently, "Growing Older with Grace, Spiritual Practices for the Second Half of Life," I opened with an exercise in which each participant emptied a bag of glass pebbles, one for each year of their life, into a large glass bowl, and then shared a significant piece of wisdom from their life.

The bowl of pebbles symbolized all the years of wisdom in the room. 2, 623 years of wisdom to be exact, although as one person told me, some of her years were more foolish than wise. I know the feeling!

All day long I wanted to run my fingers through the bowl filled nearly to the top with multi-colored pebbles. I thought perhaps I could capture all that wisdom through osmosis. If I stirred up handfuls of those pebbles, would I become wiser myself, would wisdom seep through my fingertips and reach my heart and my mind? Would the coolness of the pebbles extinguish the flames of my ego which so often gets in the way of openness and calm? Would dipping into all this wisdom reinforce the wisdom that has come to me slowly and often painfully? 

And where would this day of wisdom shared and received lead?

One person shared her discomfort about offering wisdom to those she viewed as being so much wiser than herself. We talked briefly about the root of her concern, and I urged her to sit quietly and have a conversation with her own wisdom. Invite her for a cup of coffee and get to know her. Ask her what she knows, what she has learned. What is her name?

It seems to me that at this stage of our life, we need to become comfortable with our own wisdom. This is the time to uncover the wisdom we have learned along the way. This is the time to live our wisdom, not just know it. To be our wisdom, not just expect respect for our years lived. Knowing our wisdom is a deep form of coming to know our essence, the person we were created to be. And knowing our own wisdom is a step, often a big and sometimes a surprising step, towards understanding our purpose during this stage of our lives. A step to living our wisdom.

Ok, here's a caveat. Listen to the tone of your wisdom. Is it whiney or bossy or wedded to the past, beginning sentences with "in my day," or "in the day." Listen to your wisdom and notice if it is acting from a "I have a right to be heard." stance. Are you open to the wisdom of others, including those younger than you, or do you pronounce your wisdom as if it is the end all, be all? Notice if the wisdom you offer, comes from your heart and is that heart truly beating with compassion and love? Is your wisdom willing to grow and deepen or is it stuck in "that's the way it is"? 

In a recent sermon at our church Barbara Lundblad, the now retired, former professor of preaching at Union Theological Seminary said, "What is the word you have been called to say that only you can say?" That is your wisdom, and it is good to develop a deep and abiding relationship with that wisdom.

An Invitation
How are you living your wisdom? What are the opportunities you might have to model and share and be your wisdom at this stage of your life. I would love to know. 


Resource:
Barbara Lundblad http://day1.org/216-the_rev_dr_barbara_k_lundblad

Wisdom, Part One: Tuesday's Reflection

One day last week I was in the presence of 2,623 years of wisdom, thanks to a retreat, "Growing Older with Grace, Spiritual Practices for the Second Half of Life," which I helped organize and facilitate. Wisdom overflowed the entire day, beginning with our opening exercise. 

Each participant was given a white gauze bag filled with glass pebbles--one for each year of his or her life. Some bags were heavier than others, since our oldest participant was in her mid80's and the youngest in her 40's. On a table in front of our retreat room I had placed a large empty glass bowl, and I asked each person to one by one empty their bag of shiny pebbles into the bowl and to share a piece of wisdom they had acquired during their lifetime. 

My pebbles were the first in the bowl, making an almost metallic sound as my 67 pebbles spilled into the glass bowl. I turned to the group and said, "One piece of wisdom I keep relearning is the awareness that when I give myself time to move into silence, to become still, I seem to have more time and am more open."

Little by little, person by person, the pile of pebbles grew into multicolored layers and the sound, as the mound grew, became richer and deeper, not unlike the kind of wisdom that comes with the added years. The room was hushed as we yearned to receive each offering of wisdom. Wisdom about learning to live alone following the death of a spouse. Wisdom about patience and about appreciating the small and ordinary pleasures of life. Wisdom about trust and forgiveness and letting go of regret. 

Before this opening exercise I had led the group in a meditation, in order for each of us to become centered and present to our time together. I said, "You are in a safe place. You are in a place where your wisdom is welcome. You are in a time of spiritual deepening. Today is for you. Breathe in and out, receiving and surrendering. And when you are ready, open your eyes, gaze in silence around the room and feel yourself in this sacred moment."

The entire day was a succession of sacred moments, for when wisdom is shared, when wisdom is received, the moment is sacred. The glass bowl of 2, 623 pebbles was a visual reminder of all we have learned on our spiritual journeys and how much we can benefit from the wisdom of others. I wish I had thought to add more pebbles to the bowl throughout the day as we shared insights and reflections and as we opened to the movement of God in our lives. If I had done that, the bowl would have been overflowing by the end of our time together. 

At the end of the day I invited each person to come to the front of the room again and share with the group a gratitude, a hope, a learning they had acquired during our time together and then to take pebbles from the bowl as a reminder and symbol of our day of wisdom. 

The bowl remained full even though pebbles had been removed. I think wisdom is like that--wisdom shared, wisdom received creates more wisdom, grows more wisdom.

An Invitation
I invite you to share a piece of wisdom that guides your daily life and leads you to greater awareness of the movement of Spirit in your life. What pebbles of wisdom do you have to offer? I would love to know. 

Thursday's Reflection: Words to Live By

If you read my previous post, you will know how enamored I am of Louise Penny's Chief Inspector Gamache books, http://www.louisepenny.com/index.html including her most recent one, The Long Way Home. Good fiction is not just about a plot that carries you along or characters who interest you or a setting that makes you want to buy a ticket or get in your car. Good fiction also imparts wisdom; words and ideas that make you think and even examine your own way of living. With each succeeding book in the mystery series by Penny there seems to be more food for thought, more reason to pause and reflect. 

In this first week of September, which always feels like a new beginning to me, as perhaps it does for you, I offer you some words of wisdom from Penny's books, and invite you to reflect on their meaning for your life. 

Chief Inspector Gamache recites the following four statements to all his new agents as a pathway to wisdom. 

                 I don't know.
                 
                 I was wrong.

                I'm sorry.

                I need help. 

Try saying these statements aloud. How do you feel as you hear yourself saying them? Is one harder to say than another? When was the last time you said and truly meant one of these statements and what happened when you did? 

Think about your life right now.  Is there someone in your life who needs to hear one of these statements from you? Is there a situation in your life that could change in a positive way if one of these statements was sincerely and genuinely expressed? Who is waiting for the next step from you? 

Think about a time when someone has looked you in the eyes and said one of those statements or written a letter saying, "I was wrong," or "I am sorry." How did that feel? Even if the words didn't wipe a slate clean or make whatever was damaged, repaired, did you feel some measure of healing? At least an intention of healing? 

One thing each of these statements has in common is the first word: "I." It is not enough to say "sorry," especially when the hurt is deep or the offense is serious--even if you don't know what the big deal is. What needs to be said and known is "I am sorry." Even though the statement begins with "I" and might seem to glorify the ego, the opposite seems more the case. When we say "I was wrong," for example, we become "freed from the imprisonments that keep us in exile from the true heart of another." (The Rebirthing of God, Christianity's Struggle for New Beginnings by John Philip Newell, p. 55) http://heartbeatjourney.org/j-p-newell/ These statements can be representative of "dying to the way in which our ego, both individual and collective, tries stubbornly to be in charge, rather than faithfully letting go to the Self who is within all selves." (p. 113) 

Our six year old grandson Peter often says, easily and casually, when you ask him a question, "I have no idea." Not knowing is not a source of embarrassment to him nor does he worry we might think he is weak or stupid. He simply doesn't know, and he doesn't try to fake knowing. He admits it, and we move on. I hope he will retain that ability to be so open, but life seems to teach us to cover up, to hide behind a facade of false self-assurance. Sometimes we don't even know what we don't know. I have no idea! 

Inspector Ganache's words of wisdom remind me of four other statements to live by:

            Please forgive me.

            I forgive you.

            Thank you.

             I love you.

Ira Byock, M.D., http://www.irabyock.org an authority in palliative and end-of-life care, offers these statements in his book The Four Things That Matter Most, A Book About Living. These are words, Byock maintains, that can mend and nurture our relationships and our inner lives and help us get through the unpredictability of daily life. 

Four statements. Eleven words. 

An Aside: At the book talk where Louise Penny spoke recently, she said that along with her husband saying, "I love you," the most important words he ever said to her was when she was struggling with the decision to quit her job and begin writing full-time. He said, "I support you." 

Just imagine if we each integrated Gamache's and/or Byock's words of wisdom into our daily lives as our spiritual practice or our rule for life. As we maneuver through the rough spots, the times when we feel out of control or too in control, imagine those words sitting lightly within always available when needed. Just imagine what could happen if we set aside our ego and met one another heart to heart.

An Invitation
What has your experience been with any of these statements? Is there a time you wish you had made one or more of these statements or when you wish someone had expressed them to you? What can you do about it now? I would love to know. 

Wise Women in the Den, a post by Nancy L. Agneberg

They aren't here now, but I still feel their energy, the energy of wise women who gathered together for a day-long retreat in our home. A retreat to mark the beginning of a new year. A day inspired by  Nollaig na mBan or Women's Christmas, which originated in Ireland and is celebrated on or near Epiphany, January 6, the end of the Christmas season. Women's Christmas began as a day when women could rest from all the tasks women generally do at Christmas and a day when women could celebrate and honor each other. And that's just what my women's spirituality group, Wise Women, did as we enjoyed time for quiet reflection and time for sharing with one another. 
    We each came with our own hopes and thoughts for the day. My role was simply to provide the space, along with a basic plan and questions and suggestions to consider. After an opening meditation together in the den, we each found a place in the house to spend the morning. One in the sunny guest room, the Girlfriend Room. One in Bruce's den where she spread out her yoga mat. One in the lower level office area. I was in the Mama Chair in the living room, my normal location in the winter months for journal writing, meditating and reading. Quiet energy filled the house as wise women reflected on their lives. 
     I had prepared for my participation in the retreat by rereading my 2012 journals --always a good way to remind myself of where I have been, along with the patterns of the last year, the growth and the need for further growth. I discovered almost a total preoccupation, at least in the journals, with selling our home as part of our plan to downsize and eventually retire. Coming into the new year I was feeling one-dimensional already, but reading the journals certainly reinforced that impression. With that in mind my hope for the retreat day was to clarify and set my intentions for the new year. I started by opening a new journal, always a good place to start!
     I asked myself, "What is the invitation of 2013? Will it be a year when I surprise myself? How will the paradox, 'moving forward and standing still' be manifest in my life? In what ways will I choose to use my gifts, and how will I be called upon to use those gifts? What do I want to read in my journal at the beginning of 2014?" 
    I realized how much of the past year had been spent waiting--waiting to sell the house before I take the next step, whatever that step might be. I have been patient, but when is patience and waiting not such a good thing? What is the shadow side of waiting? How has being patient impeded me from living life fully?
     And there it was: Live Life Fully. 
     When I Live Life Fully, I am aware and engaged. I do what I love. I love more fully.  I have more energy. I am clearer about what is needed and what the priorities are. I am capable of growing and giving. 
     When I Live Life Fully, I am in the present moment.  
      Last year's intention was simpler and clearer, and even measurable: write a letter every day. 365 days and 365 letters.  
     This year's intention to Life Life Fully will evolve, and its meaning will transition as life changes and as circumstances present themselves. In Mark Nepo's words, "the heavenly pivot," or "unplanned unfoldings." Being with the Wise Women reminded me that when I ground myself in my ongoing spiritual practices --meditation, journal writing, reading/studying -- and when I choose activities that support my body, mind and spirit, including exercising daily and eating well and spending time with family and friends, I just naturally Live Life Fully. 
     At the end of the day, Wise Women gathered in the den to offer safety and support as we shared learnings and discoveries from the day. We honored each other and the wisdom we each possess. May we each Live Life Fully.   
    
Note: Thanks to Jan L. Richardson for introducing me to the idea of Women's Christmas. See her site  http://sanctuaryofwomen.com /blog/women's-christmas-the map-you make-yourself/